He's Afraid to Meet my Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
He's Afraid to Meet my Kids
46
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 8:39am

At least I think he is. And my kids arent particularly scary either. RG wont do anything with me that involves my kids. He hasnt said he wont but he avoids it. I have asked hundreds of times and he says he will but when the time comes he always has an excuse or cant be contacted. He's good at avoidance.


So I wonder, why doesnt common sense get the better of me? Why is it I keep hanging on to him and hoping something will come of it?


Laurie

anonymous

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 8:45am

OK- I should know this, but how long has RG been in the picture?


If its less than 4 months, i think he shouldnt be meeting them anyway. If its 4-8 months, I agree with him if he is hesitant. If its more than that, he's avoiding them.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 8:52am

Over a year and a half. He has met them for a minute or two. But avoids anything more. He is good at avoidance. I have him down to a T and I know when he's avoiding.


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 9:14am
Ok then. Why are you involved with a guy for this long who wont step up to the plate?
Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Rebecca, Mom to Averey Elise, age 8, my big 3rd grader!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 9:20am

Because he is fun, good looking, we get along really well and I feel this chemistry thing when I am with him. Our goals are different but its hard to leave someone like that. I did it once and it hurt.


anonymous
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 9:26am
You've been with this guy over a year and half and your just NOW wondering? Why have you kept him around? It's totally obvious he has NO interest. What are you waiting for? The miracle isnt going to happen. Sorry I seem rude about it, but I just don't understand what your confused about. It's beyond avoidance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 9:33am
Laurie laurie laurie - what are you doing? If all of us gals were done there right now we would make for damn sure you stopped with this guy and DIDNT GO BACK. You are torturing yourself. He has shown NO signs of wanting this involvement with you to lead to anything. Why would YOU want to involve your kids in something that has dead end written all over it? I am sorry also to seem harsh but you really need a group of good girlfriends to snap you back to believing again that you are worth so much more than this and so are your kids. This is constant heartache from you about this guy for a year and a half - when are you going to stop this because obviously he wont since he is already getting everything he needs. Please think better of yourself and yours.
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 11:33am
Sweetie - thats all well & good, as long as you arent looking for the love of your life & can tolerate him being a totally seperate part of your family life. (((hugs)))
Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Rebecca, Mom to Averey Elise, age 8, my big 3rd grader!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 12:22pm

Honey, I know you're holding on to hope that RG will change, but really, Laurie, he's a dyed in the wool bachelor who likes it that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 1:12pm

The only advice I can give is what *I* think I would do in your position. Since its only what I *think* I'd do, because I haven't had this experience before. But I would totally corner him with a "you've been avoiding meeting my kids, I'm in this for the long haul. I adore you, enjoy my time with you immensley, but I'm looking for someone to add TO my life, and I'm a package deal. If blending with my family isn't an interest to you, and only dating *me* by myself interests you, I have to end this now. I can't keep my life on hold when this isn't what I'm ultimately wanting for me or my kids."


But I agree, after 18 mths and still not wanting to do stuff involving your kids, it sounds like he enjoys you very much but has no interest in your family. ((((HUGS))))

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 2:02pm

I know. I know. Thing is its so hard to say goodbye to such a wonderful friendship and handsome man. I have tried to make him a friend and not a love interest several times. But when I am with him my heart just swoons and I start thinking 'what if'....

Laurie

anonymous

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