He's a committment phobe
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He's a committment phobe
| Fri, 06-06-2008 - 8:21pm |
He's a committment phobe. Religious Guy is happy in his singleness and having me on the side. We just discussed the issues of future but he tried to change the subject and avoid it and I never really got a straight answer. So here I am in love with a committed bachelor. I think its time to move on and stop waiting for him to come around. Its going to be hard because when I am with other guys all I do is think of him. Its sad.
Laurie

Sucks when you are not on the same page as someone you like. HUGS Laurie.
Letting go takes time and being present with the person takes practice.
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
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Tracy
BUMMER.
Those are good ideas. I decided I would just immerse myself in my goals and projects to keep busy and keep him off my mind. Unfortunately the failure to commit is his only fault. Otherwise he's a sweetheart! So it makes it even harder. But I want more than what he can offer so I move on.
Thanks
Laurie
The failure to commit thing being his only fault is something you might want to think about. It is a very large fault and one which might branch off into other ones as well if examined. The fact that he wont commit makes it impossible to see what faults he has past that which is where most people's faults even begin. He kind of affords further scrutiny this way....I really think you may have avoided something that would have eventually caused you more struggle here. Even if he did decide to move forward and deal with his commitment issues in order to be with you, you might have been in a no win situation with someone who deep inside felt you should be proving you were worth that forever to him. People who cant commit frequently have trouble with the hills and valleys of relationships and avoid conflict because they have trouble with that also - all of those things are just par for the course in normal relationships.
You really deserve someone who can go into a relationship with you fully aware of these challenges and actually embracing them as part of the package. If the challenge he cant deal with is the commitment itself, one could say that is actually the easiest of the ones to come in any relationship. Saying you will try to be with someone is the easy part - what comes later is where people start stepping all over themselves and each other in my opinion.
I think you will find that the right person will make you so relieved you didnt pursue this one any farther! Chin up!
Be strong girl! {{hugs}}
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Tracy
Unfortunately the failure to commit is his only fault. Otherwise he's a sweetheart!
One of the things
On the surface he is wonderful. I dont know a whole lot about whats below the surface. Which is kind of sad considering I have known him for over a year.
Laurie
You know what? I had the SAME situation w/ Carlos ... even is age! 47, NGM ... perfect man. Perfect. Loving, honest, wonderful, communicative, generous, smart, sucessful, handsome, sweet, accomplished ... i could go on & on ... but in the end, he cant commit. Just cant make that jump - & he wants to. He wants a family, children - but he isnt going to get that unless he seriously takes
It seems my relationship with RG is going the same route. Some day I probably will tell him that we are not exclusive and that when he is ready to move forward that it might be too late. I hate to lose him as a friend but it hurts right now to be with him as a friend only. Does that make an ounce of sense?
Laurie