He's a keeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
He's a keeper
11
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 1:48pm
Well, I am officially in love with M. It's been 5 months of me taking my time, keeping my head, but no more. So not only did he plan a perfect ski weekend for my birthday, but on my actual birthday he slipped away from his girls just to drop some flowers, in the form of a huge bouganvilla plant, off at my house with a big, very appropriate and perfect card. I came back from the movies and there it was in front of the garage. Back in early Nov. we went to a local nursery to get plants for M's yard and I pointed out these unusual, gorgeous, bright red bouganvillas. I didn't say I'd like one or anything, I have trouble growing it in my yard. But he paid attention and remembered the comment. Anyone can think of a dozen red roses, but this plant is more personal, more me. For Xmas he gave me snow boots, again he paid attention to a simple remark, and then spent quite a bit of time hunting down the right pair, and sneaking a peak at my shoes to determine my size. It is just so much of a big deal to me that a guy makes time for me, shows me that he listens, pays attention to the little things, actually thinks about what I'd like- not what he'd like for me to have. After 28 years of being taken for granted by my narcisist X, I am so not used to this.
M met my mom and brother, briefly, on Xmas eve. Glad that's out of the way. They liked him, not that they spent enough time to form much of an opinion.
Just goes to show you, it doesn't have to be love at first sight, knock your socks off chemistry. Sometimes maybe turns into a resounding YES!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 2:26pm

YEAH, Queenbun, YEAH! You do have a keeper. And you are smart enough to spot it.

Bravo - do keep us posted. We are so lucky to have you here with us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 3:53pm
Sounds like a keeper to me. That shows a lot that he pays attention and actually listens to what you say. Sigh......I never had one of those :-)
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 3:58pm
Yay!!

~Karen
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 5:15pm

What a great guy, and what a great story!
I love plants, and I love the idea that he really listened and got you exactly what you wanted.
I also love the fact that since you have taken your time, you both know how you truly feel, and it isn't just lust, or desire, or the need to feel desired that is propelling your actions.
What a great post, it served me well as a reminder. Thanks!

Moody, who needs all the reminding she can get, sometimes


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 7:05pm
But you have to understand, Moody, that I did have my total lust fling first and then a just for sex, no hope of going anywhere relationship, then dating with no intention of anything more, before I was ready to give a guy like M a chance. Since there'd only been the X since I was 14 I had to do some experimenting with what I wanted, figuring out what I needed in a relationship, figuring out what is important to me now. All the while I was working on being happy just being me, alone.
Both M and I are a whole lot smarter about relationships and what is right for us. Both of us are willing to work on our own issues and cut one another some slack when we slip up. It is so nice to be with someone who actually tells me if something is bugging him, and doesn't take it too hard if I tell him he's messed with one of my many pieces of baggage.
Here's hoping our plans for getting together tonight after his girls go back to their mom come together. They still have to get their parenting plan more specific. All my kids are out tonight- a rare occurance- so.........:) :) :)... and no report on what I am (or am not) wearing when I greet him at the door! LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 7:45pm

HAHAHA! I laughed so hard at your last line!

I hope it all works out well for you tonight!

I understand completely what you're saying- I'm there, I think, minus the guy. I've had relationships that went nowhere, flings, and just for sex deals, too. They were all fine while they lasted, since at that point in my life, that was all I wanted or could handle.

Now, i'm ready to be in a relationship, and ready to be in the right one. I know what I want and what I'm willing and able to give.

Moody


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 8:35pm
Yes, Moody, you and I are standing on the dock waiting for the LOVE ME FOR ME Boat! LOL!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 10:00pm
that's so great!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 2:04am
YEY!!!! YEY!!!! YEY!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 11:51am
Queenbun sounds like you have a keeper. I can relate to being neglected, etc. I also have found someone that appears to be Mr Right, for once. We have been dating for almost five months and I plan to take it slowly. Good luck to you.
mom-annemarie

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