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| Thu, 10-14-2004 - 10:38am |
I read this somewhere else on the net in reference to the "he's just not that into you" book...remember we talked about that earlier?
I thought this was interesting, coming from a guy. I'd like to know what you all think about it. The guy who writes the book has such an OPPOSITE opinion...what experiences has everyone had in this area?
*****
"Many guys, myself included, have zero clue when a girl is interested in us.
It comes from a series of rejections. We see signs that make us think yes (or maybe) so we ask her to a date, and hear no.
Repeat with a different girl a few times and eventually the guy doesn't know what to look for.
Once a relationship is getting started, sure let us do the calling (though I can't think of any guys who were really bothered by a girl calling him), but if you're interested and we're oblivious then let us know you're interested."

Hi Candi,
I think it's true - a lot of men have no clue when
The book tells you to let a guy know you are interested. You can flirt etc... then, drop it. Don't ask the man out. Let him do that. If he's really interested, he'll ask you out. If he's not that interested, he'll probably go out with you if you ask him...but relationship most likely won't get off the ground.
When I look back at all of my past relationships, the shortest relationships were the ones in which I initiated the first date. The longest ones were the ones when the guy had to work the hardest to get me to even go out with him the first time.
Of course, to date, all of my relationships have ended in failures. So there you go. I don't know if it matters that much who starts the ball rolling.
Remember Kevin the lawyer wannabe? He was so positive that I was just what he wanted that I could NOT take him seriously. He had no clue who I am, as a person.
And the guy I'm flirting with now...neither one of us know each other well enough to want to chase. There is attraction, but...
So, there's definitely a line and beating your head against the same brick wall for a period of months is a bad idea, but I don't think it's that "instant".
I’ve asked men out and men have asked me out and I think it can work both ways. I think that anyone who limits themselves to one approach only, is limiting their possibilities. I also think what happens after you start dating, is far more important than who actually starts it.
God I LOVE that post...you'd be a great anthropologist...
Mind if I frame that and hang it on my wall???
:)
Mel
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I think that anyone who limits themselves to one approach only, is limiting their possibilities. I also think what happens after you start dating, is far more important than who actually starts it.
Gabriella, I agree with Candi...you are GOOD!