Hi!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Hi!
16
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 9:54pm
Hi ladies, I've only posted in the surviving divorce and separation boards but have read a few of your posts and I must say you have not only provided comic relief but also hope for when I am ready to start dating again. How long did everyone wait until they started dating and do I really have to find a guy in bar?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 2:46pm

Welcome, love your name btw, my oldest granddaughter is named Miranda(Mandy).


I waited 3 years before I had my first date(not by choice), by choice it may have just been a year.


I have that special talent since I hit my fourties, to not meet men who are interested in me, so I tend to take longer than most of the human race.


It's time to date again, when it feels right for you, but a least a year is

The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 8:31pm

I started dating about 2 months after asking ex to leave the home. I may have been in an unusual situation and that is that when I asked him to leave, I was DONE. Done emotionally, done physically. I started dating and never looked back.

I don't recommend that for anyone else, though.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Sat, 10-11-2008 - 5:39pm

Hi Mandi and welcome to the crazy single dating moms world. Its a great place to be, filled with great women and a few cool guys. Tell us about your kids too.


Laurie (Dating and getting more and more crazy about EMT; Kids DD21, DD17, DD13)


anonymous
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Sat, 10-11-2008 - 6:02pm
BTW Laurie... LOVE your new photo
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Sat, 10-11-2008 - 10:05pm
Okay, so after doing some soul searching and mulling over all the great advice I have come to the consensus that I'm going to try a year of self-imposed celibacy. Yes, it is a lofty goal but I realized that I have not been single a single day since I was 19. I also realized that I had a tendency to hook-up with the first guy who came along. I really feel like I need this, and maybe even need to find out who I really am without a SO (very self-help bookish but lord knows I read enough of them!). Anyhow, I really enjoy reading everyone's postings so I hope you all won't mind if I live vicariously through everyone! Thanks again for the great advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2008
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Sat, 10-11-2008 - 11:25pm

Hi Mandi. I'd like to offer some advice about dating after divorce. I waited almost a year after being separated from my kids dad, who might end up being the love of my life (crystal meth is unfortunately his first love). I filed divorced papers, then took them back a few days before the hearing since we got back together for a few weeks, but he was coming home high. I filed again after a judge advised me to in order to file for child support. The weekend after this, for the first time, I met a guy in a bar that I was briefly involved with more to reassure myself that I could be with someone besides my husband than for any other reason.


Here is my advice part: I met a guy a few months after being finally divorced (a little over two years ago). He was a total rebound for me, and I was a wreck (still strugglying actually). He was my clean up guy, and would spend alot of time listening to my raw pain and taking care of me and my boys. I ended up marrying him, and soon found that we are completely incompatible as far as living together. We were married for 6 weeks last winter before becoming separated, then divorced on tax day. Date casually, do not marry the clean up guy!


Now, I'm struggling with dating, and have recently gotten involved with someone I surprisingly have alot of feelings for that has ghosted on me! Dating does not get any easier, and that is for certain.


I like OLDating for now because I can control the pace of the contact easier this way since sex is less likely to rear it's big issues too early on, and also can keep my interests from my little boys and their fragile hearts.


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