Hi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Hi
3
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 1:50pm
Hi, am newer to this board. I am a single mother of 3wonderful girls. Sometimes I feel that I am going to be alone the rest of my life. How do you make time to date when you do not have time to think at times. I hope to get advice and learn alot.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: booklibra
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 2:30pm

Welcome aboard!

I can understand feeling that way. Some of us have been single for a LONG time. I am single almost 7 years. 7 frustrating years of finally realizing that maybe it's been so hard, because I may be happier alone. That my knight doesn't really exist, because I am too hard on them. Or that maybe the right one just hasn't come along. However, it can be hard and tedious.

Tell us some more about yourself! How old are your children, long have you been divorced, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
In reply to: booklibra
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 4:36pm

Hi there! As for making time to date when you don't have time to think- well, I can relate.

I have two kids and they're with me all of the time, so I simply had to learn to make time. I work a fulltime plus job, so I felt guilty at first getting a sitter and going somewhere without them, but it didn't take me long to realize that a happy mommy was a much better mommy.

I am happy when I'm balanced- kid time, work time, me time, and date time. I don't need an equal amount every day, but I still do and will probably always make time for myself without my children.

My best suggestion is find a sitter you love, swap nights with another family, and call on your own to help out.

If those aren't options- I have family nearby, and sitters we love, but don't know anyone to swap evenings with, so I just do what works for us.

I know sitters are expensive, and it will be time away from your kids, but sometimes it's amazingly worth it.

Moody, on the last day of her vacation and ready to go back to work


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: booklibra
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 5:59pm

Hi there and welcome,

We are glad to have you. We have all stages here - not dating, dating, etc. While it is hard to have kids and be totally footloose, you can make a little bit of time for yourself. Perhaps your kids have a dad that takes them? Or they have activities they can do or friends they can see? Or you can get a sitter from time to time? Or have family that can take them? Time is always had by a little bit here and a little bit there.

I think the big deal is that you need to have time for yourself - even if it is just a bit each week - so you are happy. And that you can get to a point where you are happy being single and independent. Because if you are happy single then you do not wear the crown of desperation and you become attractive.

There are all sorts of people everywhere. Work, the bank, the store, hobbies, church, your kids activities, friends, friends of friends and of course online dating. I find that the "all of the above" is the best way - always look good, always chat and make friends. If you throw enough things up against the wall something is bound to stick - you just need patience, timing on your side and a little luck.

Younger women with a bunch of time do not fare any better. I know of plenty who are beautiful, single, without kids, with all of the time in the world and in a good school - and they have no more luck than us - because all the guys their age want a fling. So don't feel that you will always be alone or that your hand of cards is any worse than anyone else. There is someone out there for you - actually there are a lot out there for you - you only need to find one who is into you and who appreciates you for all the things that make you special.