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| Mon, 01-15-2007 - 1:04pm |
I thought I'd stop by to say hi and provide a brief update. Cat told me she posted about how we finally met each other, face to face, this summer, and that I introduced her to my cousin. Yes, Cat’s story is really true. Once she moved from Germany to NC, we were able to communicate, via telephone, and that really strengthened our friendship. As for my cousin, he’s a single dad, and a great guy. We started hanging out together on a regular basis about 2 years ago, and we got to be good friends, aside from being related. He’d call me up on a Saturday when neither of us had our kids, and we would just hang out together. I had spoken to both Cat and my cousin about the other, then they finally got to meet in July, and, as they say, the rest is history. All I did was bring two really nice people together – they did the rest.
As for me, I took a much-needed break from dating – 7 months to be exact. I ended the relationship I was in back in May, and I decided not to date for a while, because I was tired of it all. Instead, I used that time to work on my house; I went out with friends; I did anything I wanted to do, and I loved every minute of it. I think Cat was more worried about me finding someone to date than I was. She just wanted me to be as happy as she was. And she wanted to make sure I had a date for her wedding LOL!
I just want to say that I did meet someone (not on line), in November. All I’m going to say (for fear that I will jinx myself) is that he is a real wonderful, special man, and I’m very glad I met him. Things are going very well, but it’s early. And all I can hope for is that things will continue as they are now. Cat and my cousin had a party on New Years Eve, they met him, and they both like him. He has met my family; I met his family, and he met my twins. While my kids aren’t always happy to share their time with someone, they do like him. Ok, that’s all I’m going to say. I really am superstitious! The old-timers on this board know my terrible dating past, and probably can understand why I’m reluctant to be too optimistic right now.
Even though I do not post often, I always was, and will continue to be, thankful this board exists. It really is a great place to meet a friend! Take care everyone.
Donna

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It's great to "see" you again! How nice of you to share your story! I hope all works out well for you!
Moody
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Hi Donna,
Good to see you!
Hi Donna,
Glad you popped by for an update. How great that you got some work done on your house. Good luck and keep us posted!!
Allison:
I don't really have any pictures to share, because my house is a "work in progress". I did a lot, but there is still more to be done. What I really wanted to do was redecorate my room and my daughter's room. I had picked out a really nice (and expensive) wall paper border, and I was going to do a really fancy paint job in my room; and my daughter picked out what she wanted as well. When I last posted, I had said I was having a birthday party for my twins. After their party, my house was broken into, twice, and I decided it was time to move. After that happened, the work I was doing was to get my house ready to sell. I had a new roof put on my house; new gutters and soffit and fascia as well; and had my living room painted a neutral color. I did paint my daughter's room and my room, but I opted for a less expensive, simple border and just a neutrial color in my room. My plan was to re-paint every room a neutral color to make it more sellable. I replaced woodwork and doors (things that were started when my ex left, but never finished). I was kind of in a hurry to leave, but the reality of what I needed to have done and how much it was costing me caused me to slow down, and that is why I am still there. My plan is still "fix to sell", I am just not in a big hurry. I suspected that a neighbor broke into my house, and since he has moved, I have had no further instances, so I don't want to be rushed out of my house before I feel it is ready to sell. I want to get out of my house what it is worth. Where I live is not a bad area at all; and no one else around me had the trouble I had; I think it was one bad person causing me aggravation. My kids love their school; I like it because they have a great special ed program for my daughter. I am a cubscout leader, brownie leader and junior leader; my kids play basketball for the park district; and we're not ready to give all that up right now.
So, the work continues, but I have a plan: KISS (keep it simple, stupid) -- meaning fix it to make it sellable, but don't put in too much time and effort or money. I am going to start with the living room and work my way back to the kitchen, and finish everything that was started, one room at a time.
The man I am dating now is an asset to my plan, not a hinderance. It was his idea to start in the living room, working back to the kitchen, and completing everything that was started. He has great ideas, and he is more than willing to roll up his sleeves to help me. In fact, I have never met a man in my whole life that helps me as much as he does. I don't even have to ask, and he just does things for me. He helps me cook, clean, and takes out the garbage; he feeds my cats and even cleans the litter box, all without me saying a single word. When I need something, he goes to the store for me. We missed part of the Bears play-off game on Sunday (unthinkable for most men) because we were down in my basement working on a project (that he started). I told him we were missing the game, but he said it didn't matter, he wanted to get the project done, and we did, then we watched the game. He lives 15 minutes from my house, which is quite a change for me as the last two men I dated lived an hour and 1 1/2 hours away from me. When he's on his way to my house, he will call me and ask me if I need anything because he will stop and get it if I did. I think we work well together and I think we make a great team. I'm telling you, I could go on and on -- but I won't because it all sounds too good to be true. I keep thinking he's an angel sent from heaven and that one day he will just disappear.LOL! I hope not. All I can say is that he's different from the type of man I have dated in the past, and maybe that will make a difference.
Donna
It is never too good to be true. I like what you write. All good things come to those who wait. And this is how it should be!!
I think you are doing the right thing to keep your house saleable - can never go wrong with that. Although I am glad you decided to stay put. It is expensive to move and a big hassle to boot.
Keep us posted!!
I'm so happy for you.
Keep it Simple Stupid- can totally relate. I'm in the house I shared w/my X and since I put a lot more into this house than he ever did I thought I'd just stay here, fix it up to my specific needs and be happy. The market in So Az is nuts and the house has a ton of equity so I thought it would be a sound plan. I have since converted to KISS. The house is too big for me and just my daughter, so when S18 & S15 move off to college I will probably start looking for a smaller place w/o all the upkeep. Plus, if I am still with M in 2009 when S15 graduates, we'll probably start thinking about the next step for us, do we move in together or continue to maintain separate households. I know I won't ask another guy to come live in this house that holds memories of my X.
Redecorating did help erase some of the connection of the house to my X. The pool had to be totally redone, which led to a total rethinking of the backyard. I love it and it will add a lot of value to the house. I'm about to start a major redo of the master bath, used the plan as my final project for my cabinetry class last semester and got an A on the project (now hanging in the school's gallery). After that, I'll do an update of the kitchen, but no new cabinetry, can't afford that. But first up is the roof, in dire need of fixing and a recoat in the CC&R approved color. It's white now and I hear about it every few months from a friend on the board.
Good luck, and a handy guy is worth his weight in gold IMHO
Queenbun:
Your house sounds beautiful. Just think how much money your house will be worth, once you have improved what you want to, and then you sell it -- good plan!
I get what you are saying about too many memories. I like my house because it's mine, but I will have no trouble at all walking away from it -- and the memories. I'm just biding my time and doing it right. I know that if I ever get serious enough with a man to want to move in with them or marry them, I want us to have a place of our very own. In the meantime, I just keep working at it, because I know someday it will be ready to sell, and I can move on to better things!
Donna
Judy:
I wasn't going to do this, but since you asked, I'll tell you how we met. First of all, his name is Ron. Here's the story.
My birthday was in November, and for my birthday, Cat paid for a one-month subscription for me on Match.Com because she said it was time I started dating again. Had she not signed me up, paid for it, and wrote a profile for me, I would have never done it. I told myself I would never do online dating again (the last guy I dated was from E-Harmony). A few weeks into the online thing, and I was already getting tired of it. I was on my way to pick up my kids from school, and decided to get gas before I get them. By the side of the gas station was a sign that said "Are you over 40 and Dating". I had seen those signs before, like last summer, but never called because that was when I was taking my dating break. So, when I got home, I called the number and made an appointment. It was a dating service for people over 40. When I walked into that place a week later, I had absolutely no intention of joining anything. Dating services made me nervous. I met with the director and she explained how it worked; I fill out a profile, they take a picture of me, they do a background check and credit check on me (and everyone who joins), and then my profile goes into the computer to find potential matches. It is all done through the mail. Each week, the service sends me at least 3 profiles, and I have the opportunity to "accept" or "reject" the person. If I accept someone, and that person accepts me, then the service calls us with each other's numbers and encourages us to contact each other. The rest is up to us. The director personally meets with everyone who signs up and interviews them at length. She told me that there were a lot more men in the database then women, so she didn't think it would be hard for me to find someone. I was looking forward to meeting a lot of guys; just talking on the phone and maybe meeting some of them. I was still skeptical, and I had to be talked into signing up. They bargained with me and I got them to let me have a 6 month trial membership (instead of the usual year) for just $150.00. Had they not been flexible with me on that, I wouldn't have done it.
So, about a week after my meeting, the profiles started coming in. I would fill out the sheet and send it back. One night after work there was a meessage on my machine from a guy from the service named Ron. I never bothered to call him back because I didn't have a profile for him. He called a couple of times, and I ignored each call. I finally got his profile in the mail, I liked his profile, so I sent it back. Then the director called me with his number. We talked on the phone, almost every night, for 2 weeks before we agreed to meet. We went out on a Sunday afternoon for lunch before my kids got home from their dad's. What's ironic about the story is that when I was at the office of the service, they showed me a book with profiles, and Ron's was in there, and the director said to me, "you should date him, he's a real nice guy". Turns not that Ron is friends with the director's husband; that's why he joined the service. The director thought we would make a good couple, so she gave Ron my phone number right away, before I ever saw his profile (although I did see it, I just didn't know it was him). After our lunch date, and before I went home, I was hoping he would ask me out again because I had a real nice time -- and he did. It's hard to describe, we just sort of clicked. I insisted on talking on the phone for a while before we met. I figured that if we couldn't get along on the phone, why waste each other's time. Ron said he liked me from the first phone call.
I have since called the service and told them not to bother sending me any more profiles. The director didn't like that, because she said there were a lot of guys who wanted to mee me. She was glad Ron and I got along, but she wanted me to keep dating. That's not my style, so I thanked her and told her no thanks, and that if anything changed, I would let her know.
So, that's my story. I would have never thought I would do a dating service (I always thought they were for desperate people) but I figured, why not. I wasn't having any luck on my own and online just wasn't for me. What I liked about it was that it was done through the mail, and the director gave it all a "personal" touch. Plus all prospective dates were "checked out" by the service, which made me feel a little better. When you get to be in your 40's, the pickings out there get slimmer and slimmer, and I know you know that Judy. The director mentioned to me that most of the men who joined the service were serious about finding someone, about being in a relationship or looking for a long-term commitment, otherwise they wouldn't waste their time and money. Right now, I think it's the best $150 I ever spent. I hope I am not proven wrong somewhere down the road.
Donna
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