Hi, new here.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Hi, new here.....
12
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 10:30am
Just wanted to introduce myself and say hello. My name is Christy, and I am a single mom of four children. I have two girls 11 & 8, and two boys 7 & 5. I work full time as an accountant and I just finished up my B.S in accounting. I have been single for three years. I have had a couple of relationships during that time but they have failed. I am very apprehensive about dating anyone seriously at this point. The last relationship just ended last weekend (We met on POF). I did bring him around the kids we dated for 7 months, we talked about marriage and both wanted the same thing, but he was a jealous person.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 11:04am

Welcome, Christy!


I'm a single mom, too! I have 2 kids, and have been divorced for about 5.5 yrs. Dating again is NUTS, is it not?!?? But I've done it, and I've also chucked it and just spent time alone, too. So I know just what you mean!


I am in a relationship now though. I met him on Match 2 yrs ago and have been dating since. Nothing serious in the plans at this point; just dating and enjoying each other's company when we get a bit of free time. He's a single dad, too (4 kids; divorced about 7 or so yrs,

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 4:16pm

Hello Littlesmom31 and welcome!! Glad to have you here - hope you stick around - you will learn a lot and have some good laughs and discussions as I have. I cannot believe how much I have learned here!!

Glad to hear you wouldn't put up with the jealous type. Good to hear you are getting back on your feet again with your degree and accounting career.

I can imagine that 4 kids must be a challenge as it is but never mind on your own 24/7. We do have other moms here in similar situations and even ones with more kids. So you will feel at home and get good tips and share stories!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 12:53pm
Hi! So nice to "meet" you. Dating isnt easy with kids - especially 4 of them AND a full time job. But it sounds like you are doing ok AND you have a great head on your shoulders. A jealous man is NOT someone you want in YOUR or your KIDS lives!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 3:04pm

Welcome to the board!


You sound like you're doing a great job with everything- it's hard to be the only full time parent!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 2:04am

Wow, Alison.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 10:43am
Thanks, honey!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 3:05pm

Hi, and welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 5:09pm

I was just thinking that it is easy for all of us to say this is happening too soon. Because we do have the hindsight of the divorce process - that you need to get THROUGH the divorce and find life for yourself as a single and mourn the marriage process and figure out how to date and do a better job the next time. I believe we do all have at least a 50% fault in a divorce even if it is just a matter of picking the wrong mate and that this requires a lot of reflection. Also, it takes a lot of time to restore peace and love and order and confidence in a house for the kids.

You are probably in the euphoria stage of being happy you do not have the conflict of the former partner, your soon to be exh. And I do understand how you are really starved for attention because I was in this boat.

SO, I do understand how you are probably not going to come to this internet forum seeking advice to change the kids' feelings but we all tell you - too soon too soon and then break up with the guy based on that. Although you might walk away with a new perspective on the situation and hopefully a lot of new friends and a passion to come and see us every day!! LOL!!

SO, my reason for this long-winded reply is to say that for now if you do choose to date, you might try really hard to make it invisible to the kids. And just understand the process and where you are. That this might not last or ending up being something great for you given your state of mind right now.

One friend recently told me some good advice - never make long term plans with a new found love!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:17am

Good point to bring up the "interview" idea!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:45am
Hello! I'm new here too. Nice to meet you. =-)

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