His night out, by request

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
His night out, by request
11
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 4:34pm

~Pacific~

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 5:30pm

Breathe darling! He needs guy time too. I think it's normal for guys to need once a week with their buddies. You should plan on doing some of that as well. Don't let him think you are going to sit at home at wait for him to and make sure you both communicate AHEAD of time and not 24hrs what the weekend plans are. This would keep you stuck at home.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 5:59pm
Chill chickie!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 9:39pm

Thanks, gals. What I need is a good dose of reality...sometimes I over-react.


One thing is that he regularly plays sports with friends 4 evenings a week and not only does he have a lot of time to socialize during his games but also he usually has a beer or two, socializing at their houses afterwards. So I don't think that

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 9:43pm

I think you should listen to your inner voice on this one. I don't like the idea of drinking buddy mixed with the time you should have alone.

Sure, when you have DD he can say he wants you to have time with her and he wants his space with his friends. I thought your compromise of going and leaving early was okay. But I didn't like that you wanted alone time on the other weekend and he would rather be with his buddy when he was out with you.

Maybe this is because the drinking thing is a huge hot button with me. And I had a boyfriend who would rather be out drinking every Friday night with his friends - and he would drink a LOT. It ended up killing the relationship.

And really there is nothing wrong with either one of your preferences - you want what you want.

I can understand the need to get with the boys for a game of golf, to watch football or go fishing because those are healthy male bonding things. I can understand once a month. I am not sure if I can understand every week and especially not if it is a child-free weekend and chance for us to have special time.

Just my .02.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 10:37pm

Hmmm - some how his suggesting that as "his intention was for me to have quality time with Sierra tonight, and nothing else" seems a bit fishy to me! But maybe, JUST maybe, he really is a nice, honest guy (i hope so!) & thoughtful, & he really meant it.


On one hand I want to say - "dont smother him" - but on the other hand, is this time with the "drinking buddy" something really frequent?


Its hard to balance family life, friends, work AND dating

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 12:31pm

Thanks for your words and advice, as always, so appreciated!


Just a quick update.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 12:47pm

I know I'm chiming in a little late but he sounds somewhat thoughtless. If he was home waiting to hear about his friend, how was it that he didn't think to call you and let you know that. I'm sure he was focused on his friend but if you all have been dating for awhile and are close, he should be letting you in on what is going on.

I am with the others on the drinking buddy thing. It is fun to go and hang out with friends. I really enjoy doing that but if he already has so much "me" time with the sports seems that he needs to cut back on something. If this is to be a long term thing and you want more time, he needs to give up all the scheduled stuff or cut back on the spontaneous "hanging out" stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 1:05pm

Thanks for your thoughts on this.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 10-01-2007 - 1:24pm
Bingo - you are very smart to know that you do not want to be the second to the mistress called alcohol. I have been in that situation three times and have had to throw in the towel each time. Good news is that once I knew about it, it never took me long to get rid of him. Time will tell you!! Either way you win - either you are with him and it is good or you will find another one who is good. Men are a renewable resource!! ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 12:50am
{{HUGS}} The guys need their guy time too..and you need time alone with your DD, :) its better for you both, and very healthy! :) Also ...a day out with the girls is nice too!! Gather some friends and go out one night, its very fun!! :)


if you notice my siggy changes often..its because I have a rotator! youre not going crazy ;) lol
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