Hiya all!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Hiya all!
4
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 5:52pm

Hiya all!

It's been ages since I checked in. Have sooo much to tell!

Had a fab trip to Florida. It seem a great long time ago now although it's only been a few weeks but things have been a bit manic.

Got told a week after I got back that we are all being made redundant in my office. They are moving all our jobs to London which is too far away for me to follow. Boo! I had just started a new role in a new team and was looking forward to a training course that was due to start in January. I was majorly bummed out for a while but I've gotten used to the idea now.

Steve has well and truly gone. It just wasn't working and after nearly five years I took the guts to end things. He didn't put up a fight and that's fine by me.

Last Friday I was out on someones leaving do (I guess there will be loads of those coming up!) and this guy who used to work in my office until about a year ago asked me for my number. He wasn't someone I knew very well but I always thought he was cute. A couple of days later he Im'd me to see if I'd like to go out for a drink. Since then we've sent a few messages and emails and he seems really cool. A few of the girls in the office knew him better than I did and they all totally approve. He's sweet, kind, totally laid back, highly intelligent, did I mention cute??!!, tall, has travelled and seems well rounded!! I feel there is a small chance (from the most cynical girl on the planet!!) that he might be worth a shot. He knows about the kids and seems completely unfazed.

So what I really need advice on is timing. I have told him I can't meet for drinks until after Xmas. I have a hectic schedule unitl then and he was happy with that and willing to wait. My plan is to meet up a few times and double check the chemistry. Then, meet him with the kids outside of home before I allow him inside the house. I know this is all purely speculatory and that after a couple of dates he may not be up for it but as a plan how does that sound? How would you guys work it? Is there an etiquette to this kind of thing? I have only allowed my kids access to one bf since I got divorced from XH and they were very young back then. Now they are 8 and 10 years old. After a successful dating background so far (i.e. haven't screwed the kids up thus far!!) I don't want to blow it now!!

Love

Dawn xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: i_lippychick
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 8:49pm

Congrats on finding someone seemingly so nice so fast!!

I think you should go slow - take each day one at a time and see how things go. I would wait for as long as possible to involve the kids.

Keep it casual and see how it goes.

I would be tempted to try to meet with him sooner - but that is up to you.

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: i_lippychick
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 8:44pm

Dawn!
How nice to "see" you! I was thinking of you last week, we hadn't heard from you in a while!!!

So sorry about the job situation. How crappy and what timing huh?
It'll all work out okay, I know. Just think of this as an opportunity, I know, easier said than done sometimes. Do you know when you'll be done there? Any prospects?

As far as the guy, I would take a deep breath and not assume there is going to be any meeting of the kids just yet. Let him buy you a drink or a coffee and then see how it goes. And then if there is a next time, then worry about that then, one date at a time. Don't work yourself up thinking about all the "what ifs" when you don't even know if he's worth it yet. It's way too soon to worry about when you can bring him around the house to meet the kids.

And let us know what happens!!!!!

Hugs
Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: i_lippychick
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 4:45pm

Hi Tara!

I know about the rushing forward in my head! I can think of sooo many reasons that it's too tough to date that if I listened to myself I would never date again!!

Monday night I'm just going for a drink with him. That's it. End of. And if I like it I might go again. I'll work the next time out from there! Trouble is I am soooo out of practise and I can't really even imagine how to make anything work dating wise without upsetting the kids. I pride myself on making it through 10 years without mentally scarring them somehow and I don't intend to blow it now!!

You'll probably hear more from me now. It's better this way. I'm much funnier single!!

Dawn xx

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: i_lippychick
Tue, 12-14-2004 - 7:39pm

Hi again
Be sure and let us know how your drink goes with him Monday!
And don't worry about being out of practice. I think you will be fine!

Hugs
Tara