Hmmm- I wonder IF i have a date Fri ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Hmmm- I wonder IF i have a date Fri ...
13
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 11:26pm

THIS is what I find aggravating about dating.

2+ weeks ago, the Match guy winked ... i thought he was a possibility. We eamiled every few days, after 3rd round, he asked me out for last week ... he asked on Mon, we decided to go out Fri. On Wed he e'd me, very nicely asking if we could "postpone till next week" b/c he got an offer to go on a "guys camping weekend away, last minute". I was fine with it & told him "no problem - who am *I* to get in teh way of a Boys camping weekend?!". We decided to go out instead, this coming Friday. The last thing he said to me was after I said "But, i think I could be free Fri the 22nd ... want to shoot for that?" he said "Yes, if that works for you it is good for me. Sorry to change things up on you at the last minute."

Then I just wrote back after "Anyway, have fun & just drop me a line next week to confirm for Friday - maybe by Wed or so? & my number is ******* if you want to call instead."

Ok, so its 11:23 pm on Tues nite. I *know* i said tell me by Wed, but do ya THINK he could have let me know he was back in town, it was fun, WHATever, & NOT make me wait till last minute???

I *almost* e'd him today - we have our love of dogs in common - & I had taken pics of my dogs swimming at teh beach Monday & wanted to send him pics of it ... we are both also into photography - but i didnt want to seem like i was begging for him to contact me.

I *know* i shoudlnt contact him .... but what do you guys think? I actually think it MAY have been ok to do it a couple days ago, but NOT now that the Wed deadline is almost here & i havent heard from him - THAT would look like Im chasing him.

Ah well, maybe he is just another jerk!
http://members.ivillage.com/rlch/




Edited 6/20/2007 5:34 pm ET by rlch

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 12:01am

Wondering what happened to your cop guy?

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 12:08am

Resist the urge!!!!


Give him til 9 pm tomorrow night to call you and then make other plans for friday night.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 7:29am

You're absolutely right- thi is what sucks about dating, no question!

I wouldn't contact him, and if he hasn't called you by tomorrow, I'd say this one just wasn't right for you.

Good luck- there are so many men, and so little time- just keep having fun!

Moody, not missing this part at all


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 8:01am

Wait - don't contact him. You have until midnight tonight, technically. And if not, oh well, you were busy anyway.

And yes, dating is frustrating at best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 11:05am

I forgot to say - I always love the way you write so well to them. It is absolutely HILARIOUS how you would say "who am I to get in the way of a BOYS camping weekend" - that shows you can flirt and have a lot of confidence. And your pix are very beautiful - you are very photogenic!!!!!

So hang in there. You are worth the wait!!

Oh - and he may wait to contact you on Thursday. I would cut him a bit of slack that way. His response to you was pretty cool - so I have hope for this one.

Okay - but if you really want to contact him - you could just ask how his camping trip was or ask about the dog - but don't bring up the date. HOw is that for a little slip through the cracks type of strategy - get in his face but don't chase? I am always the one for the subtle don't chase them approach. Just because I want one who is enthusiastic about me and not one I have to chase or prod or entertain. So I find that I have to sit back and watch and see what they are about.

Whatever you do, keep us posted. This one sure sounded nice on paper!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 5:40pm

Ok- heres the other side of the coin - from the On Line Dating ladies ....

**** I dunno... It seems to me that ya'll already *have* a date planned. He postponed, asked for another date, you suggested Friday, he said Friday was great. Seems to me the only thing left for now is to firm up a time/place. Yes, a nice long "here's how my weekend was" email would have been fun... but it's certainly not an indication that he's lost interest! Perhaps he's saving the scoop for Friday! LOL

I'm in my "to hell with OLD rules" mood, so I'm going with the "why not" approach today. LOL I partially agree with Justintime in that you should at least give him until the very end of today (Wed) to respond. But... if you don't hear from him tonight, then I'd send him a SHORT (emphasis on short, R!!!) email to say, "Hey- just checking to see if we're still a go for Friday..." and leave it at that. If he fails to respond, you have your answer.

I just don't see anything wrong in following up. Yah, yah, yah. I know it's "against" the OLD rules and the "HJNTIY mantra", but based on your emails I think you already HAVE a date planned. One email won't kill anyone. Then I'd definitely say the ball is in his court.

K3

And:

**** & I had similar thoughts to K3 about a short call to see what the plan was for Frid. I don't think that is chasing at all. Chasing is begging and fishing for dates and you haven't done that.

I *still* dont know what I will do. If i DO contact him, it WILL be to ask if we are still on for Friday. I wont beat around the bush & just ask how the weekend went. THAT to me would sound more like I was fishing, than calling b/c he DO have a date planned & I was confirming time & place. I sort of WANT to put him on the spot & wont SAY it this way, but i want to say "So, whats the deal here buddy!?!"

But I am not sure - depends on how I feel. He *should* be putting the effort out there & contacting me, but Im willing to suck it up once, assuming maybe he expects me to contact him. MAYBE.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 6:49pm

This is most maddening to you I am sure. But why not just ask him the time and place? I mean, he did sound good on paper and was nice about letting you choose the day. And if it is a good date or bad date will boil down to so many other things besides this matter. Plus if you know now you won't have to sit around waiting to be disappointed or find a babysitter, never mind on such a bad week for you.

I bet he hasn't given it a thought - he thinks he has a date and is just busy bumbling about his life.

We girls have all given it so much more thought than he would!!

I just think it is more in your favor to find out what you are doing than to sit and wait. And it he doesn't want to go then you didn't lose anything anyway. And with the week you are having why not do something that makes life easier on YOU! :-)

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 9:58am
So have you made a decision? Did you contact him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 10:48am

I was just checking in for the same reason.....soooooo......???????

Rose :)

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:59am
I'm dyin! Is the date on tonight???

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