holiday travels/ relatives/lovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
holiday travels/ relatives/lovers
9
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 7:20pm

Hi all,


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 8:51pm
Why don't you go for less time to spend time with his and his family? It sounds a bit crowded - but is that better than spending the time alone when you cannot be with your family? It is a chance for good bonding time with him and them and also a chance to see what you are getting yourself into. Just a thought..... If it is not too hard for you to go - you should go! :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 9:50am

Yes, he is now going from 19 to 27.. so I may go from 24 to 27 may be.. I am thinking about that. But also may be stay in a hotel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 10:11am
24 to 27 is very good - and the hotel can be a good option - hopefully not too expensive - but maybe worth the money so you two can still have quality time. Keep us posted!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 10:57am

Oh wow- what a dilemma! And all the time he spends waffling on plans... is more time where he is coming close to not even getting the flights he needs! Things will book up FAST, if they haven't already! Hotels, too... so make sure you can even GET a place! I like the idea of him going whenever he wants/needs, but for you to meet him there for only a few days. Spending a week (or more) with him and his family at this stage of the relationship- is just too much, IMO. For a first family meeting- it just should be short and sweet. Plus, if he is busy getting reacquainted with his siblings before THEY have to leave for other family gatherings... then he won't be free to be dating you or paying attention to you. I'm not saying you will sit there just NEEDING the attention, or that he will flat-out ignore you... but just that if they are busy talking old times, you

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 12:46pm

We seem to have figured things out. He is flying in to Houston on 19th and I will fly in on 24th and will return together on 27th. He made his reservations last night for almost 450$ and I was still unsure. This morning he called and I said Ican come from 24 to 27 and within 15 minutes he went ahead and booked the flight now almost 480$ and called me back. Okay and now after 20 minutes those flights are selling for 770$..It is crazy..These tickets usually sell for less than 300 and max 350 $ for non stops. We get non stop flights.. and we are flying back together. It should be fun and that is going to be our first flight together.. I have always looked at couples in the airport and wished I was flying with someone like that..

I am tensed but excited. He is so happy that I am going. Hopefully things would be okay. I am thinkining of taking some gift for his mom may be.. I am not sure how many people I should take- or should I just take for his mom. I am planning to give her a framed picture of the two us when we went to centarl park in NYC.

We havent decided about stay.. He said we can do it according to what is comfortable for me. I thought we could stay in abhotel for first night and may be next day once I get used to all of them and if I feel okay I will stay there..

Thanks all for the suggestions..

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 6:33pm

That sounds like a good plan, Dance. three day there is very reasonable and a good time frame for the first family holiday as a couple. Plus it will give you a few days before hand to do your own thing..do some shopping, watch movies, wrap gifts. This is a well thought out plan! As for the accomodations, you could reserve a hotel for three nights and cancel if you get comfortable right away.


It sounds to me that your guy (btw...I forget his nickname on this board, what do you call him here..sorry I'm brain dead today!) really wants you there and it's sweet that he cares that much! I think you will ahve a great time, and it's nice you're included in his family time :o)


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 12:57am

LOL! I dont think we have a nick name for him here.. although first thing that comes to my mind is " biker" - if that is not already taken.


Yes he is indeed very excited to be taking me home. We may book a hotel. Today he was overly sweet and was smiling all day and told me he is just so excited to take me home - I guess everyone is eager to meet me to know what species Iam ..lol..since I am kind of his first GF seriously and most of them had though that he may be single for ever since he was not datig anyone. Seems like my agreeing to go home with him was a BIG BIG thing for him than I expected ( given all the drama that went by with my ex). I

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 10:31am
Totally agree with your post Shrimpy. My X initially was more flexible about spending time with both of our families, but it was always his people first. Over time, as the time split got more and more unequal, I started to speak up and insist I get time with my family, even if he didn't come with me. He really treated my family with contempt. A big red flag to me now.
M is very flexible about the holidays, he works in his time with his kids and time with me. We start figuring out that whole complex arrangement a good month in advance since we have to allow for our flaky X's. And when we went to FL to spend Thanksgiving with his parents, he made sure we did some things alone together.
A year is a good time minimum to see how things really are. By then the best behavior infatuation stage will be done with and the stress of the holidays shows how you handle that together.
QueenBun
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Thu, 12-06-2007 - 10:45am
Dance,
I agree with the others that 3 days is plenty of time. I think spending the first night at a hotel, just the two of you is a good plan. it gives you a break. Meeting everyone all at once may be rather overwhelming. The small token gifts are also a good idea. Be prepared to answer a lot of questions about you. Every member of my BF's family I have met has wanted to see pictures of my kids so bring a few of yours. Good luck and hope it is more fun for you than stressful.
QueenBun