Holidays & Ave's father .......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Holidays & Ave's father .......
15
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 3:55pm

I called the psyc

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 4:00pm

I still don't think you should give that to him rlch!! I think that is going to upset him. Maybe you can put it away for later in case he comes to his senses? I know you want Avery to feel like she is doing something - but I really feel that is going to open a can of worms and do more harm than good. It is like waving the red flag in front of the bull so to speak.

It is very good that the doctor helped you with this - I am so glad you called and got verification. Hopefully you won't be found on Xmas - I think the holidays have a tendency to bring out the worst in some people. As we are also seeing around here!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 4:04pm

I agree with Judy that maybe you should hold off on sending it to him.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 4:40pm

I totally understand where you guys are coming from. But I am going to leave it up to Ave - if she wants to or not. We see Ave's counselor tonite, so we will discuss it as well. I *truly* care more about Averey's feelings

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 4:56pm

I think, if Ave really wants to give the present, that you mail/ courier it to him.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 9:37am

If the world were fair, then you could say screw Taz's feelings, and Avery's

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 9:51am
I second this and would NOT send the gift!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 11:14am
Well, for once I disagree with everyone else. I agree with the psych that it's OK to get the gift to him, but don't involve Ave at all in that process. You can let her know that the gift was given so she feels good about it. At her age she needs the reinforcement of the good behavior, we don't hold grudges and I think it reinforces the concept that Daddy has a kind of sickness that causes his ugly behavior. It's not that she did something wrong that he is not allowed to see her. And don't let Taz talk you into allowing him to thank her personally.
I do agree that you need to be very careful in how the gift gets delivered and that you don't risk any face to face contact with him.
QueenBun
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 3:47pm

Where is the PHEW sign? lol

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 12-23-2007 - 7:30am

FYI- called

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 12-23-2007 - 11:10am
Well that is as safe as safe can be. I think we are all so shook up by his behavior and we want you and Ave to be safe that we prefer no contact at all or anything that will cause something bad to happen and we want you to disappear from him!! We like having you around here so so much. But you are in your own environment and must be able to make your own decisions and it sounds like you did the best you can with all of it. I am so so so glad you do not have to have contact with him. You must stay strict about that. I guess I worry because while it feels nice for you to give the gift, it might not invoke a good feeling or reaction on his side. But maybe it will. We can only hope, right?

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