housing situation with SYB

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
housing situation with SYB
26
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 9:42am
Hi guys. Well just when I was starting to look younger with all of my anti aging routine, my landlord announced she is selling the place. We live in the city and buying is TOUGH. We were caught completely off guard and now if she puts the house up for sale and someone wants it and wants to live in our apt, we have to be out i 30 days....yikes.
Luckily my son's school will grandfather him in for next year even if we move out of the boundary they have - thank god because the houses in that boundary are about a million dollars, no exaggeration. Anyhow, then there is the thought of renting but with Monty I have to think that would be difficult. I really didnt think about the fact that getting Monty might be risky if our housing feel through - I am kicking myself but I also cant live without him.
SOOOO, Syb's credit is very new since he hasnt been here for very long. It isnt bad but it is new and there isnt much there yet. I have poor credit because I am a loser when it comes to finances and a highly fluctuating income doesnt help that. I have had good credit in the past but somehow I have let things just get very disorganized and I am so mad at myself. I am still going after DS's father for child support but nothing has been resolved yet. He keeps claiming that he has shared custody because he sees him on the weekend but in reality he just drops him off at his parents for a day and a half and then goes and gets him and brings him right back. I know that all I can do now is just pay my bills on time and do better but is there anything I should know about that could help me raise my credit a bit quicker. I have only one credit card which I got about 6 months ago. I have paid the other ones off and my car is paid off but the problem is I paid them off badly because I didnt do it on the schedule most of the time. I think I may have about 1000 in odd debts on the credit report and I need to pay them after I figure out what the heck they are - nice, right? I apparently forgot about a few bills in my move three years ago and I havent heard from them since. So the other though - they got their money but in chunks and as I got it during months where I performed more or whatever. I had that debt from the divorce and I am sure that is why my credit is poor. But at least the bills are paid. I am rambling but basically I just wondered if anyone had any suggestions. My new credit card from six months ago is current and I havent messed it up in any way and someone yesterday suggested I get another one just to have two accounts that are being handled correctly.....
We are kind of spinning over here and SYB seems ready to settle down, buy a house and my family keeps saying "so are you guys getting engaged?" and I keep thinking "where would we be getting the money for a ring when we have to find a downpayment for a house?" I know he will not propose without a ring ( he is way too traditional for that)and I could care less about getting engaged right now to tell you the truth but it does make me a bit nervous buying a property together. My XH left me for a waitress before we were married ( yes I went back like an idiot) right after we signed a contract for a house together. I had to deal with it on my own and he ended up moving in later - I was pretty much an idiot in love back then. So I have to admit I am having trouble not remembering that pain back then even though I know in my heart SYB would never do such a thing.
Moon-would you buy a house in your current situation?
I am not sleeping well over this. It just stresses me out to not know where we will all be ( me and the boys as I call it) in a few months. AHHH.
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 1:14pm
7 Fast Fixes for your credit score

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 1:24pm
No anwers just sending{{{positive vibes}}}

~~Tiny


I want

~Karen
˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡&#1244
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 1:51pm
City - I know that the price is nearly $1 million but I am guessing that the row house would be a great investment with income from the rental of the other units....you
Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 2:37pm

Yikes!


This is huge.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 3:33pm
Thanks everyone.
I have spent today almost in full trying to pay down the debts that came up on the credit report or investigating them if they looked fishy. Some stuff on there came as quite a surprise and I dont know whether it was due to the move and just not getting any mail from those creditors or what but there were two on there that I would have sworn were paid off years ago. Most of what I paid were bitsy things but they all added up and it was a bit grueling to find the right person to talk to and then get it done and write down everything in a file to keep. This may or may not raise my credit score but I figure I am at least starting the process of getting on the right track and not living in the dark about my finances. I have never been good at this stuff except for in the period where I paid my bills, my mothers, and my brothers tuition during her illness. I cant tell you what memories I have of that time since I was 20-24 at the time and felt like I was responsible for everyone's health and happiness. I think it has left a mark on me in that I hate dealing with finances now, avoid them and am now paying the cost. I remember settling all of her bills after her death and it has weighed on me today again. Perhaps doing this work and correcting my behavior will bring some closure to that painful time. I have been thinking about this situation all day and had a long cry with Monty over it - he was very nice and didnt judge me or ask for my banking routing number:)
SYB and I will continue talks about engagement or not around the purchase of a property together. I really do appreciate everyone's concern and I see your points. He has been so rock solid in all of this - he is a true partner and I am so lucky to have found him. We have talked about already feeling married as we are and keep in mind that we are both rather eccentric - it really was only because of family pressures and the pregnancy that I ever got married the first time even though I take full responsibility for it. He wants and talks of marriage more than I do and is far more traditional than I am even if we are both a bit wacky. I also know I would never buy a property with him without having papers drawn up to protect both of us and he agrees with this wholeheartedly. I havent looked into it yet but mainly because the credit issues seemed more pressing.
I know about the rental income counting towards qualifying for a mortgage and have considered it but I think with the house there are many problems already some structural and I dont trust the landlord to fully disclose them. I also dont know whether I want to be strapped with a mortgage and be a landlord as well. it is one thing to have your own house needing repairs and schedule them around work and family but being responsible for the other two renters here...I dont know. The building has had substantial repairs in the past year with water damage and I dont know that it was done correctly - I just have bad feeling about the state of the place if I were to own it. it is a gut feeling but a very real one. I think buying this place would be a mistake for SYB and I but I recognize that if it is our only option we should look into it. I just think there might be other ones that would leave us less burdened both financially and otherwise.
Thanks again to all of your advice. I love you guys!
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 3:36pm

Big hugs to you, I was in your shoes 2 years ago exactly. I got lucky (so I thought) the new landlord kept me, but unfortunately he's turned out to be really bad. He doesn't fix anything and gives next to no heat. He's the reason why I'm going out and buying my own place, now.


So maybe the person who buys the house will keep you, you never know. Also, you can go to court and if need be get yourself more time to move out, usually another 60 days.


Best of luck to you, I truly feel your pain.

The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 3:40pm

there were two on there that I would have sworn were paid off years ago.


Maybe they were!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 3:45pm
Thanks Taina.
You are absolutely right - there could be a new landlord that does keep me.
I know that is a possibility but I am not going to bury my head in the sand and believe me it is tempting. Just assume the best will happen and let the finances lie is a thought that has crossed my mind with everything else I have going on - I used to just kind of trust the universe to provide and then deal with it after the fact. But I am inclined to jump to action this time and I figure that is a good thing.
It was about a week ago that SYB and I just looked at each other and made a pact that even if we are allowed to stay - we need to get our butts in gear so that we are solid and can move when we are ready. This was a wake up call to us and a painful one but I still have hope that if we bust our butts now, love each other like crazy and take it one step at a time, we will be ok.
I have owned houses before and when I chose to rent it was specifically to get my kid in this school. I was willing to do it as long as I had to but I believed the landlord (dumb I know) when they said they had several properties all passing down through the family or staying with them and that they never intended to sell. It certainly isnt a sellers market right now either so this really has come as a bit of a shock.
Luckily, my son will stay in his school as long as I stay in the state so that part should be ok. The rest will have to work out gradually.
I really appreciate your support - thanks for posting.
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 3:51pm

Don't feel bad about ignoring your credit/financial situation.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 4:00pm
Thanks April. I really feel better knowing I am not the only one to mess up in this department.
I swear I must have a mild anxiety disorder surrounding finances since Mom died because I have just truly had trouble dealing with them ever since - it really makes me anxious/almost sick. I would get bills back then and worry my brother would get kicked out of school or my mom's insurance wouldnt go through or the mortgage was late or you name it - I had such anxiety back then and no life skills to battle it with. I still did it though and everyone was ok back then - I did lose mom to the cancer but she never had any worries while she was sick because I took over and didnt complain. If I catch myself feeling too guilty about my current situation I will just remember that I should feel proud of being able to have done that even if it has affected me this way now. It is like a block or something now though and I go through periods of being good and then I just let things slide a bit. It has caught up with me and I do feel guilty but I also know I have made enormous strides elsewhere and luckily I do have the income to correct things now and just do better, plain and simple. Maybe all of the focus on my career will be a worthwhile thing in the end because I can get back on track. I suppose I knew this but was just putting it off. Kind of like having a panic looking at bills because my body just reacts that way by reflex from before and now really it i just a matter of opening them and paying them. I just needed to cross the bridge so to speak. Wish I had got to it sooner but better late than never I know! One day at time...
thanks for the post....
Lilypie - Personal picture