How to be and find a better catch
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| Sun, 11-11-2007 - 8:25pm |
If you are selfish, get over it.
If you are impatient, develop patience.
If you don't have a sense of humor, get one.
If you are easily irritated, calm down.
If you are filled with anxiety, relax.
If you are too serious, lighten up.
If you are too frivolous, find balance.
If you are demanding, soften your approach.
If you are jealous, develop trust.
If you are are holding a grudge, let it go.
If you are judgmental, find acceptance.
If you are controlling, learn equality.
If you are untrustworthy, develop honesty.
If you are lazy, learn to work.
If you are submissive, learn to assert yourself.
If you are rigid, develop flexibility.
If you are unkind, become loving.
If you harbor resentment, learn to forgive.
If you are arrogant, find humility.
If you are argumentative, learn to listen.
If you are immature, grow up.
In sum, heal yourself, develop your character, and become the best person you can possibly be!

That's a great list, Judy! And I totally agree with it. But the big question regarding any of those that we might need to work on or change... is HOW do we do that? (the question of the universe)
For some characteristics, it's just a difficult thing and it's not like you can just flip a switch and be instantly "okay".
But it does supply quite a thorough list of goals though, doesn't it?
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Wow - that is a good question.
I think we all have to be honest with ourselves. Many times our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness.
For example, I am extremely goal driven and ambitious. Everything I have wanted in life I have succeeded at from good grades to putting myself through a top school to running a successful business. BUT with that comes a lack of patience and lack of the ability to have fun and focus on the people who are important to me. So I am working on that.
For example, we lost our carpool family about a month ago. At first I was freaked out because I use the morning to clean the whole house and get my swim workouts done. But now I am enjoying driving DS to school because we have a lot of fun and I am starting to get more in the loop of socializing more with his friends and their parents at school. I am also putting more pressure on DS to help around the house more to make up for the time - and this has made him more loving and helpful and has boosted his self esteem and worth.
I am sure we can all go over the list and make a mental note of things that apply to us for what we need to do. To admit you need to change something is the first step and then to be conscious of your own actions is the next step. I also think it is important to have good mentors and friends in life who can model good actions and who can teach us how to better ourselves.
I have noted that some of my single friends have much higher standards for a mate than they do themselves. They want a guy or gal who makes a lot of money, basically looks like a supermodel and who is eternally nice and giving. Yet they themselves fail to give what they want. They don't work on their appearance or aspire to improve their own financial outlook. And they are selfish when making plans or dealing with others or they have extremely poor communication skills and a negative attitude. I am a firm believer in the fact that you get what you give.
And what better thing to focus on while looking than making yourself better - you are doing something very productive while being single instead of just focusing on the fact that you are miserable because you don't have an SO.