How can I help Mum find love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2005
How can I help Mum find love?
3
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 6:36pm
Yo. I'm 17 and my mum has been single since she split up with my dad when I was 6. I know she wants another relationship but after a recent bad experience with a womanizer she thought was a friend, she's a bit wary. She's tried joining a singles group but found almost everybody there to be hooked over their exes. She once answered an advertisement in the paper but that didn't work out very well either. She hasn't really had a job for a while either, as the stress my dad put on her after the breakup gave her fatigue and she's never been able to afford childcare for me and my sister under the wage she's allowed to earn under the governments' benifit allowances. She wants to get back to work now, she has joined a folk club because she loves to play the guitar but the people she meets through there, though she enjoys their friendship, are all about 10-20 years older than her. She's in her mid-forties. Can anybody suggest anything?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 1:41pm

Yo, back at’cha Simsfreg. Welcome =)

It’s sweet that you want to help your mom find romance again. It sounds like she’s trying and really does want to date but perhaps she is trying too hard? Sometimes, the best way to meet someone is just to start doing things you like to do and see if you meet anyone with common interests. So I would just encourage her to try new things. Maybe a cooking class? Does she like to read, she could join a reading club at the library or local bookstore… Or how about a new workout or a sport team? Do you know any cute single coaches from your school? ;)

She’s really lucky to have you on her side. Maybe if she just starts having some fun and finds ways to release all that stress she’s been holding in, her inner happiness will shine through and it will attract others to her.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 5:49am

Hi there sinsfreq,

You are so kind to have such concern for your mom.

I think your mom has to find herself again. The folk music is a good start - and not to worry about the ages in there now. I think it is important for her to get her self esteem and energy back and this is a great way to do it. Who knows - maybe someone in that group will know someone right for your mom. The important thing is that she is doing something for herself and being around people.

All you can do now is to try to help her with the day to day chores and to give her compliments. Maybe since you are young and in school you can help her with dressing better and fixing herself up a little.

Encourage her and help her to find work.

When she is back on her feet - that is working and doing things she enjoys - she will meet someone. The emphasis should be for her to meet the right person - someone who will really dig her for the way she is and treat all of you very well.

Why don't you point her to our board? Of course you are more than welcome to post any time too through this process.

Cheers! Good luck with your studies and your mom.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 1:47pm
If your mom wants to find a job, then I would suggest she concentrate on that first. Having a job is wonderful for your self-esteem. Having a good self image is the first step to dating again. If you value yourself, then you won't settle for just whatever comes along.