How come no one uses lines on ME?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
How come no one uses lines on ME?
4
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 11:39am

Ok, here's the deal. In answer to the question of the week, men just don't talk to me. It's always been that way- premarriage, prekids, post marriage, post kids, etc. so it must be some constant factor. Now that I'm single AGAIN and need to approach this whole dating thing AGAIN I figured maybe I should try to figure out why this is. I'm fairly attractive, I am struggling to lose a few pounds but, as I said, even at my ideal weight it was this way. I take care of my appearance. I'm always dressed nice, even at the store. I usually have heels on. I just like them- not putting on any airs, I'm just sort of a "girly girl". I'm friendly. Now I'll give you this, I'm very shy and I may come off as a a little standoffish with men because of it. I know that is actually a very big factor. Also, I never was a bar type so the plain old exposure to men I've had has been less than what it could have been. However, this just doesn't explain it all to me. Some of you are getting hit on at all kinds of places- not just bars- and I am not kidding, men NEVER talk to me. I need to figure out what it is if I ever want to date again. So please give me any ideas you may have about why it might be. As long as you are truly trying to help me, just be honest and don't worry about hurting my feelings. Heck, my husband left me so he could ride off into the sunset with his computer, so I can handle what all of you might tell me. (I'm just hoping that whatever it is about me isnt' what made him prefer his computer to me. In my defense, let me say that I'm a sensual woman and I tried everything to interest him in bed)

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 2:15pm

Amy, hmmm...lemee think...


First off, missing some lines is not necessarily a bad thing...like West's obsessive guy in the store. Or the "fries with that shake" even.


And like the ones I USE, the ones I get are

Avatar for mandymi
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 5:37pm

I'll second what Candi said... in high school and college, I had a grand total of three boyfriends.




http://somedaysijustworkhere.blogspot.com/">

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 7:15pm

I had to run to the store today and I noticed at least 2 guys checking me out, one even gave me a big smile. I smiled back but was in a real rush and almost ran him over with my cart trying to get to the bread flour! It made me realize that actually I do get noticed by guys. Maybe I'm not noticing them. But what I've gotten from you ladies so far is: confidence and attitude (and a short skirt heehee). Those are things that I can definitely work on in my own life. Hey, being left for a computer shakes anyone's confidence, and my attitude, well sometimes that could use help too. Even my discussion title is kind of whiny. So thanks, ladies, and I still welcome any other advice as well.

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 7:53pm

Amy,

What I have noticed is that it is so hard to send "friendly" vibes. I know that after my husband left for another woman, I was shattered. If this man didn't love me, how would I ever find anyone else? No one hit on me which solidified my case. However, I started to branch out. I started chatting away to everyone. Men and woman in the elevator at work, the maintance people at work, cashiers at the store,etc. It became easier and easier to send "friendly" signs, smiling, eye contact, conversation. I still do have a problem doing that with someone I find myself attracted to, but I have made steps. There is this guy in my office building that's a total babe. Never had to nerve to even look at him. Just last week I had a "nice" conversation with him, telling him to come up to my office to help me move our stuff before our construction on the office. Now he didn't come up to the office, but now that I have broken the ice I know I'll be able to go up to him and chat. So my advice is to start small. Since I have, I've been asked out 3 times by people I wasn't interested in. I turned them down politely and still carry on like I did prior.