How did you meet your current SO? (Or...
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How did you meet your current SO? (Or...
| Thu, 01-06-2005 - 7:58pm |
How did you meet your current SO? (Or if you don't have one, the previous one)
- Online (match.com, yahoo personals, etc.)
- Hobby
- Church
- Set up by friends
- Social network
- Gym
- Book store
- At work
- Other (please vote here and then post reply)
You will be able to change your vote.

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Catherine:
Welcome back! I hope your holidays were good. I missed you.
Sorry in advance to all the people you already know this story, but I have to keep my friend here up to date -- or I know she will hound me.
Here's what happened. The Monday before Christmas, Mark called me. I hadn't seen him since June or talked to him since about July. I send all his stuff back to him and ended it. I suspected that he went back to his old girlfriend. So, out of the clear blue sky, he calls me. He told me he did go back to his old girlfriend, and I told him I knew it, even though he never actually said the words. He said he tried to make it work, again, but it didn't, and he knows this time that it's over for good. He asked me if I would go out with him again, and I told him I'd have to think about it. I thought he was blowing smoke and I thought I'd never hear from him again. He called me the next day, and we talked for 2 1/2 hours. He apologized for how he treated me. He said he was a jerk and a coward, etc. I never had to say a word. He owned up to everything and took responsibility for what he did without any excuses. He said he's been counseling with a Baptist minister and that he's found God, and that he's a changed person. And would I please forgive him and go out with him again. Well, I caved, and I saw him the Thursday before Christmas. I had a great time. It was so good to see him again. In fact, I told myself that if in a few months I'm crying in my beer over him again, that seeing him that night was worth it. So, since then, I've had the kids so I haven't had a chance to see him. I want to keep my kids out of this for a while until I know where were going. He calls me almost every night. He's so into me, its almost scary. I can't believe the change in him.
Only time will tell if I did the right thing in taking him back. I decided to give him a chance because the whole 6 months that he was gone and I was dating other people and doing other things, I never forgot about him. I wasn't pining after him or sitting by the phone waiting for him to call, but I would think about him every now and then. But like I told my counselor, I always thought what a shame it was because I really thought he were good together; I really thought there was some potential there. Then about a week before Christmas, I started thinking alot about him, and I couldn't really figure out why. Then he called. So, its kind of wierd, but I just had to give him another chance. And, so far, I'm glad I did. He tells me all the time how grateful he is that I gave him another chance. It's kind of like how you described you and your pen pal. Mark and I can talk for hours and hours about anything and everything. We have a lot in common and we have a great time together.
That's my story. Like I said, I'm taking things one day at a time and enjoying the moment. I don't have a crystal ball, so I don't know how this one will turn out, but for now I'm very happy to have my friend back. And I'm counting down the days til the weekend.
Donna
Hi Donna! So glad that you wrote to update me! Hugs, hugs, hugs.
It seems to far everything is working well the 2nd time around. Just take things slow like you are and don't let your guard down to much at first. I know how much he hurt you. I'd hate to see him do it again. I'd have to fly over and beat him up. LOL
No, I think he might have found out where his heart really was. How long were you two together the first time?
When are you going to see him again? How are you doing with this new change of heart? I really do hope the very best! It's a great way to start the New Year.
Good idea about the kids. Keep them as clear as possible from it all. How are they anyways?
I'll be in Texas in April/May for 3wks. 2 wks with my family and 1 week with my penpal. It could be more, but we'll see. I have to go to check out housing and stuff, but deep down I am going to just get away for a vacation. It'll just be me, myself and I. YEAH! I'm celebrating already.
"That's my story. Like I said, I'm taking things one day at a time and enjoying the moment. I don't have a crystal ball, so I don't know how this one will turn out, but for now I'm very happy to have my friend back. And I'm counting down the days til the weekend."
That is a wonderful story. And he is making you happy, so why not?
Have fun!!!! :-)
And keep us posted!!
Judy:
"And he is making you happy, so why not?" He always did make me happy. Even when it ended, I had no regrets about the time we spent together. We really didn't have any major issues at all, until what I consider to be "the end". He started acting wierd, not calling, cancelling dates, and then I knew something was wrong. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt at first, but then I realized I was holding onto a sinking ship. I didn't like the way things turned out, because I really thought (and still do) that we make a great couple, but that was out of my control, and there was nothing I could do about it. Like my counselor said, Mark needed to do his own work to get over his old girlfriend, and at the time that I met him, he hadn't done that work yet. Through talking to my counselor, I came to peace with the situation and didn't blame myself at all. It just wasn't meant to be, and I let it go. But, like I said before, I never totally forgot about him. I had more fun in the six months I spent with Mark than the two previous long-term relationships I was in, and they lasted 2 years each. He's just a fun guy. He have a lot in common and we enjoy each other's company. Things are real easy with him. I can totally be myself and not have to worry about anything. God willing, things will work out this time. And if not, I'm sure God has something else in store for me.
Donna
Catherine:
Thanks for all your positive thoughts and words of caution.
"I know how much he hurt you. I'd hate to see him do it again. I'd have to fly over and beat him up. LOL No, I think he might have found out where his heart really was. How long were you two together the first time?" Thanks for offering to beat him up. Everyone I know wants me to be cautious, and I know a lot of people wouldn't have given him a second chance. But, I'm a stubborn Irish Scorpio, and I'm going to do what I want to anyway. I know I'm taking a chance. I always say that I could be crying in my beer months from now over this. My BIL told me it's better to take a chance than to wonder "what if" ten years from now. I agree with him, so I decided to give it a try. I started dating Mark last January. Six months before that, he had broken off his engagement to his girlfriend that he had been with for 4 years. I don't think Mark was ready to date when he asked me out, even though he thought he was. He needed to be ok with that situation before dating me, and I think I just came into his life at the wrong time. We dated for 6 months. I was at the point where I wanted him to meet my kids, but he disappeared before that ever happened. What hurt me was that he didn't just come out and tell me he was going back to his old girlfriend. I'm a big girl -- I could have handled it. But, I'm used to that happening. My exhusband just took off on me and never told me he was living with someone else until weeks later. Then my exboyfriend had my sister call me at work and tell me that they were having an affair. Men are chickens when it comes to stuff like that. I know it's not right, but that's just the way they are. Like the book "He's Just Not That Into You" says, men would rather throw themself in front of a bus than tell us they aren't into us. What can I say. That's all in the past, and since I decided to give him another chance, I want to put all that behind me and go forward.
I'm going to see Mark on Friday. We live an hour and a half away from each other, so we usually get together on the weekends when I don't have the kids. I think the distance between us is working to our advantage. It keeps us from going to fast too quickly. We like being with each other, but we both like our space as well. As for his change of heart, I really think he's sincere. He knows he messed up, and he seems to be doing everything he can to make it up to me. He makes all the phone calls, sets all the dates; I just follow his lead. I knew last time when he was BS'ing me, so I think I'll be able to tell again if he's BS'ing me. I'm hoping for the best, but I do have my eyes wide open.
I want to tell you what my kids said because it's funny. They've been giving me a hard time about me talking to Mark, so I sat them down and talked to them about it. I said that their dad got remarried, and Uncle is getting remarried, and Aunt Kathy got remarried, and that there's nothing wrong with people dating after they get divorced. And I told them they would like Mark if they met him because he's real nice. And I added that I wouldn't be with anyone that wasn't nice. And Alex said, "John was a jerk". (My only dating mistake and my son NEVER lets me forget it). Katie said, "Rick was a jerk". Then Alex said, "No he wasn't. Rick was nice until he turned stupid and married Aunt Kathy". Too funny. I had a doctor's appointment MOnday night. When I came home, my babysitter told me that Mark called. She said Alex answered the phone and that the two of them had a long conversation, about 10-15 minutes. So I asked Alex what they talked about. He said school, his cats. Alex said Mark was nice and that he wanted to meet him. I almost fell over. That's huge for Alex to say that. He doesn't want me to date anyone. So, this is definitely a good thing. I told him that maybe in the summer we can all go to the pool or the beach. I figure by the time it gets warm enough here to swim, it will be like in June, and by that time, I should know where things are going with Mark and I.
Your vacation to Texas sounds wonderful. You deserve a break to be by yourself for a while. Take care.
Donna
Donna,
I totally applaud you! Your doing this so well! I need pointers now! LOL
What your kids said, was really funny. My Alex says I only meet LOSERS, that I have some sort of LOSER MAGNET attached to me. LOL I'm going to go to the Doctors and get that checked out. Kids are usually right. LOL
You seem so happy, that it's just coming out of the internet. You are so right with the Irish Scorpion Mentality. When we are ready to give up, we'll give up. Until then, forget it! We'll go against everyone and everything until then to make sure it wasn't meant to be. Then when we are sure it's not going to work, we never look back. Right?
I am really sooooooooo happy for you! It really does ring true! Everyone meets someone, when you least expect it!
I wish I was closer to you! I would love to see you in Chicago. I was thinking of scheduling my flight, so I could maybe just meet you for lunch at the airport or fly out the next day. Wouldn't that be fun? LOL
I need this vacation. I have so many things going on in my head about moving back to the states, that it's scary.
I've had a very stressful week at work (too much work) and alot of stress at home (two much homework), so I am really looking forward to my night out. We're going to this club that we always meant to try the last time we were dating, but never got around to it. It's supposed to be a lot of fun. It has 3 different dance floors playing 3 different kinds of music. We both love music and we like to dance, so it should be a good time.
Donna
Catherine:
"I totally applaud you! Your doing this so well! I need pointers now!" Thanks for the applause and compliment, but I don't think you need any pointers from me. You do great all on your own. I'm just trying to look at things a little differently this time. And my faith helps a lot, too. I just figure it this way, if God wants us to be together, we will be, and if he doesn't, then we won't, but he'll have something better planned for me down the road. I've been hurt too many times to get absolutely neurotic nuts about this. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen no matter what I do or think. Besides, I can't have any fun if I'm stressing and neurotic all the time, can I?
I love what your daughter said about you being a "loser magnet". Kids are too smart. I always considered myself to be a "frog magnet" because up until Mark, everyone I met ended up being a frog.
"I was thinking of scheduling my flight, so I could maybe just meet you for lunch at the airport or fly out the next day. Wouldn't that be fun?" That would be a riot. I would love it if you could do that. I go in and out of Midway Airport every day to go to work. But if you fly into O'Hare, I could meet you up there too. There's a train from downtown that takes you right to the airport. Let me know what your plans and and I'll arrange it so I can meet up with you. If you want to spend an evening in Chicago, I can be your transportation to and from the airport. I think that would be better than a lunch because if it's on a weekend, I can show you around town to some really good places. It would be a blast. I hope you can do that.
Got a funny joke for you. This nice, Irish Catholic girl named Bridget goes to confession at church. She said, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned, I had sexual relations with Sean O'Malley last night -- four times". The priest said to her, "Bridget, when you leave here I want you to go to the store, buy a dozen lemons, squeeze them, drink all the juice, and come back here". Bridget says to the priest, "Father, is that my penance". The priest says, "No, that's to get rid of the big grin that's on your face". LOL I absoutely love that joke. My friend at work told that to me. She asked me today what I had planned for the weekend. I told her I was seeing Mark, and her response was, "That means you'll have a stupid grin on your face Monday. Should I bring you a bottle of lemon juice". She's too funny.
Donna
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