HOW did you start dating?
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HOW did you start dating?
| Sun, 06-11-2006 - 8:49pm |
I'm 33, recently divorced after 11 years with my exh, and I have NO idea how to start dating again. I feel like I'm too old to compete with the 20 year olds in the bar scene, and don't have a ton of friends (a lot of our friends took his side in the divorce). I don't even know what to do if someone talks to me and I DON'T want to talk to them or go out with them - fake number?
Where did you (re)start???
TIA!!!
K

Hi K,
Welcome to the board.
All I did was put an ad online and start going on dates.
Hi K, and welcome to our board! I don't think you need to go as far as to give out a fake number. A simple "no thanks" will usually work just fine if you aren't interested in a guy, and if he's truly a meathead and simply won't take no for an answer, there's bound to be a bouncer around, or manager, or someone who can get rid of him.
Or, you can just not go to bars. I have a lot of married friends (in fact, basically all of my friends are married), so I have been recently agreeing to meet their other single friends. I keep it casual and short, and so far, it's been a string of pleasant, if uninspired, experiences.
I also have other interests, like music, my kids, and reading, so I'm trying to join and find groups that will get me involved in that. I don't know if this will work for you, but it (for me, at least), isn't about dating, but about meeting new people in general, and broadening my horizons.
Good luck, and do stick around!
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I always tell women to make female friends first. Get some activities going that aren't dating related. That way you will have something to fall back on if you meet a guy and that doesn't work out.
After my divorce, I did online dating. I had a few dates outside of the online dating thing...but you meet more people online (for better or for worse). My boyfriend of 1.5 years is a person that I met online even though we had seen in each other in town before exchanging emails. We had never talked before in real life because we just assumed that the other had a partner.
Hello and welcome to our board! I agree about the one year waiting rule. One of the biggest mistakes I made was dating 5 months after a 21 year marriage!
The dating pool can be very shallow in the 30 to 40 year old age range. But, there are good ones out there. Just hard to find! I met my guy on match. BUT, I also had some very unpleasant experiences doing the online thing. However, I gave it another try because I am not around any single men at work and most of my friends are married. There is an online dating message board that is pretty helpful!
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-rlcyber&nav=start
Take some time to discover the things you like to do and never got the chance when you were married. I started doing alot of cooking, activities with my friends, read books I didn't ever have time to read etc. I even managed to travel to Vegas, France and took a cruise! I have no trouble entertaining myself, even if I don't travel!
Stick around because the ladies here have very good advice and lots of support!
Stephanie
Edited 6/12/2006 12:07 pm ET by texas_mom1991