How do I know??
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| Sat, 06-07-2008 - 9:06am |
Ok have been seeing a guy for a while now. He's normal (so far), kind, funny, terrific father to his 4 year old son. He has a great job, owns his own house..etc.
My problem is,..he talks about sex a LOT ! He is working away right now so we talk on the phone everyday, but all he seems to talk about is sex. Yes I have slept with him, and he's very affectionate...BUT how do I know if he just wants a "sex partner"..or if he has feelings for me as a long term partner?
Sometimes I feel that maybe its all he's looking for, but I just don't know? I don't want to waste my time with a man who doens't eventually want something "more". Like a lasting, trusting relationship.
Do guys just talk about sex a lot because they "are guys"?? and maybe that is how they express their emotions? Or is this guy just a hound-dog?
This is my "first" man since I have been divorced (of 18 years). I am definitley walking blind here and am a little stunted when it comes to understanding the opposite sex.
I know you ladies can't tell me what "he's feeling", but maybe you have some experiences that are similar?
Thank you..
Tak.

Do guys just talk about sex a lot because they "are guys"??
No, IMO gentlemen do not talk about sex all the time.
One of the great ways to weed horn dogs out is not to sleep with them until the relationship is established.
Great post, Soonee!!!! I totally agree.
Although Hiker and I didn't wait "forever" before we did the deed... we did wait for ALOT of dates to go by first, and about 6 weeks of dating. I've had plenty of BTDT shirts to show, for all the times I've allowed the physical relationship to start before the emotional/trusting one was established- and then was left wondering why I felt so empty and used. Sure, Hiker and I have our innuendo and flirty things mixed into our conversations, but it's definitely not like that ALL of the time. I'd have Nexted him early if he'd been that way.
If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you back off and see what he does. Let some time go by and see if he IS just after one thing or not, or if he remains interested even if the sex isn't there. If he IS only interested because of the sex, then don't waste any energy crying over him leaving, because he isn't worth keeping anyway. Remember to look at WHAT IS, not at What-Could-Be.
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Well, the only way you would know if he wants sex or long term would be to TALK to him about it.
You are all very helpful and I thank you for that. Also thank you for not judging me.
I think you are right cl-alison, he has been away for 2 weeks and i think he is just lonely, and randy..lol
I agree of letting him tell you about his feelings for you but it's his actions that reveal his truth.
I believe the key to any good relationship is communication, verbal and non-verbal.
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb