How do I move forward?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
How do I move forward?
4
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 10:55am

I am 6 months pregnant and recently ended my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been on and off for three years now and I would like for this to be our last go around.

Long story short: We had been fighting a lot recently and he told me that he wasn't sure if he was with me because of me or because I was having this child. I offered to give him space to work things out but he declined, saying that he wanted to continue seeing me as he worked through this.

I tried to be loving and supportive but being in limbo just hurt too much. We still have contact with each other and he has been sending mixed signals. I haven't been responding to his overtures and, thankfully, he has gotten the hint.

I feel better about myself for ending it and realize that I need to rebuild a stronger relationship with myself, but I am still hurting. I have signed up for a couple of classes and am trying to stay busy...I just hate doing down this path with the same guy yet again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 3:47pm

SO hard.


1st - i wouldnt even BEGIN to think about dating. Not sure you are, b/c you didnt say that, but given that youre posting here, I assume you mean you are considering it, maybe?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 6:49pm

I agree and chime in with rlch, especially about gathering a support group for this special time in your life as you are becoming a mom. It is perhaps the most rewarding thing you can do but also the most challenging at times because a very needy little one will depend on you for everything.

I think you really did the right thing with this guy because it is so painful to be in a relationship that is one sided and where the other person sends mixed signals and doesn't know if they are with you for you or just because you are pregnant.

It all seems so sad and hard now - but when you have the baby to keep you busy you will be grateful for him or her and this pain will go away. Do what you can now to stay busy as you say and to gather more people around you. I would try to stay away from him and end all contact while you heal. I am not sure how much he will be in the baby's life after the baby comes. Maybe you want to look into getting financial support because you will need that. I think if you focus on gathering your life together to get ready for the baby that will help take your mind off of this.

Welcome - we are so glad to have you here. And it doesn't matter if you are not dating - you can stay and post as much as you want - we love more posters and will enjoy your stories of pregancy and taking care of the baby and healing from this whole thing. And there are plenty of people here who are not dating for one reason or another, me included. You wil get strong on your own and be much more picky about the next one. And the next one will be much better if you choose that and put your mind to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:47pm

I am not ready to date anytime in the near future. I like this board because it reminds me that being a single parent doesn't mean that I will never meet someone else.

I started reading the "How to Get Over Him" blog on iVillage and that has been very helpful.

I also went to Target and treated myself to some gourmet butter toffee popcorn and a beautifully-scented candle. I know that things will improve, it's just so hard at this very moment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 11:05pm
Good good - sounds like you are on the right track with everything you are doing. Just remember that tomorrow is always another day and you never know what it will bring. Time will heal you - and bring new things as you are ready.