how do u deal with some of these guys...
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| Sun, 10-19-2008 - 9:31pm |
Ok, this has happened to me more often that not.....and it seems others are dealing with this too, So I guess I am just looking for some perspective, or advice....
I keep meeting what seem to be great guys, that we hit it off, date for a few weeks or a few months, then when it starts to get serious, to become a relationship, they back off and then decide they have issues, don't want a commitment, yada yada yada...then disappear for a few weeks....then out of no where start calling/ texting/ emailing/ im....etc.... just to see whats up, they miss me, want to talk, whatever. They don't ask me out, but just "miss me"......
Its frustrating, I get along with these men, but they don't want me....but at the same time, they won't let me go and never really go away!
Ugh....why is this????
mileycat

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I agree with Mileycat when she wrote,
"Other articles I have read seem to agree that no matter what a girl has or has to bring to a relationship, doesn't matter as much as what stage in life a guy is in and if he is ready for a relationship, or even looking for a relationship."
I have found that to be true over and over again, watching friends and their relationships, and especially most recently in my soon-to-be dissolved/ended marriage. Ugh.
So what do we do?????? :(
We don't want to spend our time with these losers, but at the same time we don't have to stop dating or we might never meet Mr. Right at home when time is ticking. LOL. Such a tough time!
Sometimes I wish I was more like my mom. Seriously. She has been a guy magnet since before I was born. She's been married three times, had two kids by the time she was 19 another 11 years later, and I can't ever remember a time when she didn't have some guy flirting outrageously with her. My sister and I somehow missed that gene. I think if my step father keeled over tomorrow, she'd have seven men waiting in line to wipe her tears.
I have no clue how she does it.
ON the original topic, if a guy is a commitment phobe, why doesn't he just go to a hooker? Why waste the time and hurt the feelings of a nice woman? I do think it is a good idea to state upfront what you are looking for. My last "relationship" I thought I wanted a good time/to have fun, but then when it got a little heavier, I realized I wanted more. Not marriage (oh, God, no), but just someone around to share the good and the bad.
So I will wait...and wait...and wait...
Insightful and thought provoking as usual!!
I think that is where I am having a problem......like you, when I discuss what I am looking for, I am looking to be in an exclusive relationship, but not necessarily married, at least not in the near future.
I guess one of the reasons I scared CM at first was because I put it right out there on the table in one of our early discussions.(We IM'd for 2 months before we met IRL)
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