How do you DO it all?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
How do you DO it all?!
4
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 4:21pm
Argh! I'm so frustrated right now with trying to get everything done. How on earth does everyone cope? I'm not new to being a single mother (it's been almost 2 years), but three months ago I graduated and started a new job. Although grad school was very stressful, my schedule was flexible enough that I could get so much more done. Now that I'm working 40-50 hours/week, travelling frequently (I'm an auditor), and trying to study for the CPA exam, I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels and not really accomplishing anything.

I have a 7-year-old boy, a puppy (yeah, that probably wasn't a wise choice right now! lol), and a large house that requires constant cleaning due to my severe dust allergies. I'm just barely keeping up with all those responsibilities, but my once regular exercise routine has fallen by the wayside. My friends complain that I don't even call anymore (they're all married, but without children, so they don't get it), and I can't remember the last time I had a few minutes just for myself.

When I try to vent to my boyfriend (a happy-go-lucky sort who lives by himself in a tiny 800 sq ft apartment) he says things like, "What's the big deal? It's just laundry. It only takes five minutes." Of course, he doesn't have to do laundry for two!

A coworker of mine who has two children, two dogs, and a less-than-helpful husband says the only way to stay sane with this job is to hire a maid and send all the laundry out to the cleaners. Does anyone else out there have tips on how to cope? I'm desperate!

Angie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 9:51pm
Delegate

Delete

Don't Do It

All of your answers begin with D. The unimportant stuff slides and I am not afraid to ask for help or delegate.

Do you have any way to get a mommy's helper that can babysit AND help around the house? I have added a full time one this year - she picks up my son from school, gets him to swimming, shops and helps with meals. She also helps with homework. It is the only way....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 9:58pm
I'll definitely second the maid recommendation. When I went from being a stay-home mom to a single mother of 2 working full time and living in a decent-size house, that was one of the first things I did. One of the best things too! I don't have severe allergies and I'm not a clean freak, but just knowing that every two weeks someone is going to scrub my bathrooms and my kitchen, vacuum, dust and all the other stuff is a great way to relieve stress, for me anyway. If you can afford it, do it. As one friend of mine says, "It doesn't make you a better person to scrub your own bathroom".

I do the laundry myself, and I get the kids to help. I wash, they fold and put away (they are 12 and 7). Your 7-year old should be able to do at least some of that. Yeah, it won't be folded perfectly at first, but it'll be a start.

Maybe you could get some of those childless friends of yours to watch your son for an evening so you could have some "you" time? Also, check if some child-care or children's sport clubs have parents' night out programs. I know one couple who takes their 3-year old to a gymnastics studio on Friday night, and he's there till 10 or 11 pm. He's happy bouncing around, they get some adult time, everyone's happy. A local YMCA also has a Friday night program for kids that runs till late.

And you ARE accomplishing something, a lot! You finished grad school, and you're studying for a CPA exam! While working, traveling and being mom! Cut yourself some slack!

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 12:29pm
Things just don't get done. I feel like I do everything half-way. But, exercise is a priority for me. I make sure to exercise 20-30 minutes, five times a week. I feel like crud if I don't exercise
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 12:54pm
Stop and smile.....

O.K. now think of the things you ARE doing. Being a good parent is the toughest job there is and you seem to be handling that alright so anything else thrown at you should be cake!

I'm a 21 yr old single mom of a 2.5yr old and an 11 month old working full-time.

When I do laundry, I load the kids up in the double stroller (im in n apt) go put a load in and take them for a walk around the block. then i swich it to the dryer and walk around again. That also gives me excercise and time to smoke.

I load the dishwasher at night before bed and my 2 yr old helps me unload it in the morning.

I bought a toy vacuum and a walker so 2 nights a week my son goes in the walkerand my daughter and I vacuum.

These are just a few tips to get you started.

I hope they help. If not.....e-mail me for more tips.... Patricia@Black.org