How do you feel when.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
How do you feel when.....
13
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 3:50pm

when a guy asks you right off the bat what you do for a living?

For some reason that puts me off to the point that I delete them. I mean, there are a million things to ask besides that question?

And the flip side, is what if I go up to a guy and ask him that question right away? He would probably think I am a gold digger and be turned off. And quite frankly I am more than able to make my own living - I am looking for someone fun who will be a nice person and do some of the same things - am not that worried about money either way. I feel it should be neutral - not too much and not too little.

I just deleted someone today for that reason - he brought it up right away in a chat. I mean, my profile is pretty interesting and different - so there are many things you could use for topic starters.

I felt he had issues over this. Would love to hear your thoughts.

And now my board is pretty much wiped clean.

The swimcoach made a few comments that put me off - I feel he has a negative outlook on life with a lot of things and I don't want that. The golfer has disappeared after his anemic email, which is fine. And the lifeguard is not getting any more fun text messages unless he wants to ask me out. Basically I am doing nothing with all three. And that is fine.

There is a retired navy diver who winked - so I winked back. Will keep you posted if he writes. And another nice guy wrote on POF - and I wrote back - will see what he says.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 1:33pm

You do make a good point.

I guess it was the fact that he asked that the first question in our chat - "what type of business do you have" - that is a little different than standing in a cocktail party and asking, "what do you do?" with a smile on your face.

I felt that it was interrogative. I think, too, that there were about 4 other things I didn't like about his profile - he wasn't smiling in his pix, very different religion, too far away and mention of something else I don't remember now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 3:47pm
I see not a THING wrong with it. I mean, sure, it shouldnt be in the realm of trying to find out if you are rich of course ... but aside from family, really, work is the biggest part of our lives usually. So why WOULDN'T someone ask that? It tells a lot about someone & opens up room for discussion.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 3:54pm

Try the look on their faces when you say "labor & delivery nurse", lol. Wanna hear a funny story? I am sure you know, but for those who dont - you measure a womans cervical dilation with your fingers. So, I go into her vagina, find her cervix & measure.

So, one day (well into dating Carlos) I was telling him (graphically, lol) about this birth & the situation with thinking she wasnt dilated at all, when in reality, the baby popped out about 5' later (sometimes its easy to "slip over" a very thin (effaced) cervix & think they are closed, rather than being fully dilated (no cervix left)- & thats what happened here)

Suddenly he gets this look on his face - a cross b/w disgust & elation. lol He says "YOU measure them? Not the doctor?" & I said "well, often the docs not there till the very end & you have to keep track of progress & make sure the baby is head down & not breech". & he says "so your'e telling me you have to stick your fingers in a womans vagina?" & i said "Yeah ..." & he smiled & said "Really? Now how many times a week would you say you have to do this?" ...

I said "Ok, were done with THIS conversation!!" lol

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