How do you know he's "the one"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
How do you know he's "the one"?
1
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 6:54pm

Yesterday on Oprah, Jerry Seinfeld said he knew Jessica was it because he felt comfortable with her being in his house. There was a comfort level there that he never felt and even when no one said a word, it felt good. THey didn't feel like they had to keep the conversation going. Silence was fine too and not awkward at all.

I totally agree with that and also I think that if someone balances out your weaknesses, it's a good thing. What I mean is, I'm dramatic and moody and worry too much. Shane is more even tempered. He looks at the here and now and doesn't worry so much about the what-if's. He knows we'll get thru whatever is thrown at us. He's a slob and is poor at handling money. I'm very meticulous about details, so I can handle the money and the everyday messes we have around here.

What are your findings that make your SO "the one"?

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 7:09pm

YOU are dramatic and moody and worry to much?????? NO!!!!!!!!!! Mel - I think RECOGNIZING that and working to achieve balance is SOOOO huge!!!! I'm VERY moody (who me?) and I worry incessantly. Over everything. Over worrying too much! LOL

First, let me start by saying I don't believe in "the one". I believe there are a large number of men in my city that I could be happy with, although they would all be entirely different than my beloved TT.

TT is the man I chose to marry first and foremost because he puts up with me and my crap! And that's no small feat, let me tell ya!!!!! Second, he loves me and accepts me for who I am, faults and all. He encourages me to be my very best. He sharpens me. He has high expectations of me. He challenges me. He is my strength and my rock, constant and steady and unfaultering - well - most of the time. Everything with Alex made him faulter a bit - not in his love, but boy was he MEAN for a couple of days! He is rational, practical and logical, and not ruled by impulses, moods or emotions. And I RESPECT that, and I STRIVE to be like that. I can be very impulsive, and I can let my feelings (instead of FACTS) dictate my actions. He takes care of me. He makes me feel safe and secure to the point that I can be VULNERABLE with him and allow him to do so. I've never allowed anyone but my parents to take care of me, and I have a hard time admitting I need help - but he never waits to hear me say "I need help" - he just moves in and does it. I love that. He's funnier than all get out - and I can be WAY too serious. He's gentler than I am. I can be very abrupt (WHO ME??????) and harsh. Especially with my tender hearted little boys. I have sky-high expectations for everyone - and even higher for myself. He helps me stay grounded. He rolls with the punches better than I do - I freak when something doesn't go as planned. He's EXCELLENT with money. And before he came along and TAUGHT ME - I SUCKED. TOTALLY. I envy his confidence in his relationship with God, and his acceptance of not understanding EVERYTHING vs. it eating him alive in regards to his faith. He values loyalty and integrity above all else. At Thanksgiving - when it was HIS turn to say what he was the most thankful for - he said me. He said "my life-partner who lets me laugh and love and dream and go crazy and run wild and who has the guts to tell me "whoa"." I can go on . . and on . . and on.