How do you start dating again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2006
How do you start dating again?
2
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 10:28pm
Hi. I am newly single and a mother of three. It is amazing to me, however, that as soon as you write men off, they show interest in you. This probably sounds lame, but I was never good at the dating thing to begin with. I always just went straight to relationships. At this point in my life, however, I don't want commitments and all the pressure. How do you start dating again when all you want is companionship? My kids are still hurting and hoping for my soon-to-be-ex. I wouldn't wrap them up in a a relationship of mine with anyone for a long time. I don't know how to do this. How do you start dating agin with kids? How do you let a guy know that you are a "dead-end" as far a scommitments go? How honest is too honest when it somes to what we want? If honesty is the way to go, how long do we wait?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 6:58am

HI there. I think lots of people are where you are. I know I was, as far as never having has any casual relationships, I never dated. I went from serious relationship to serious relationship. Recently that's changed for me.
I tried online dating, which worked for me, but wouldn't for everyone. It allows you to keep thing casual and date several people at a time. I think if you do decide to go that route, you also have the freedom of putting in your profile exactly what type of relationship you're looking for, so if you're looking for simple companionship and someone to do fun things with, no one will be disappointed when that's what you get. Of course, you'll still have to weed out men who aren't compatible with you, or men who seem to be illiterate, as they want commitment when you've clearly stated you don't, but you can feel good about the fact that you were upfront and honest from the beginning.
Good luck, and I hope everyone else chimes in too!

Moody


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 11:26am

Welcome!!

You ask good questions that we all grapple with.

I think the best idea with dating and kids is to keep them out of it - I am not sure of your situation but you do have to try your best to not let them know what you are up to. At least not until you get very serious at a later time.

With regards to just dating and keeping it casual - that is a good idea, particularly if you are just separated and not yet divorced. I think you just have to be up front about what you want. Honesty is always the best way.

Don't be afraid to spend some time alone figuring out who you are again as a single person and what you want out of life. Build a good social life, as best you can, with your hobbies and interests as a single person. That way when you feel really ready for something special and committed you will be happy and you will meet the right person who shares your interests.

But whatever you do and decide for yourself - we all love to have newcomers tell us their stories and participate in our threads - hope to see you around soon.

I am sure the others will stop by and give their thoughts as well - the more the merrier!!