How to get over someone

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
How to get over someone
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 7:07am
So, I have had a friend for a while who I like more than I can say. It is silly but could not help it. We talk all the times except he would seem super close then back off; then if I backed off, check in on me. He was never forward but small signs indicated he liked me... Asking to hold hands and telling me I was beautiful when very tired and not in control so much as normal... We are amazing together inperson but its not too often. Finally, I said I like you as more than a friend and this is too hard on me since you don't like me. He said, that's not fair I like you a lot but you have your child and can't move here and I can't move there. It's a recipe for heartache. Fine. Fair enough. Then I visited him for a week and we had sex. A lot. We were like a couple. Which is not really me; the casual sex thing. He was normal at first but now seems way backed off unlike before where not contacting him for 12 hours would have him taking the initiative. I am scared I lost him as a friend too. I understand we cannot date and would like to get over him if I could... But I do not want to lose him as a friend. He is a wonderful person, a unique person, And I do not want to lose him in my life. I am scared I have, for even if he snaps back aren't we doomed when he starts a relationship now, with this one week in our past? He said no, but he is backed off now and calmer heads have prevailed for me. What do I do? I was considering not contacting him for a week or two (I have been over contacting since; I know. More needy than normal! Not used to casual sex.). Then resuming contact with everything sexual kept out of the picture. Is that the best way to possibly salvage the friendship?

Sorry this is not written well. Typing on my old t9 flip phone is not easy
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 1:12pm

It does not have to be either /or but as a FWB he would have his uses.  Date many other men too.  Don't waste time,money,emotions doing the serial monogamous dateing.  It does take time to feel comfortable with someone new.  That is no reason to limit your options.