How to Make a Genuine Connection
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How to Make a Genuine Connection
| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 9:54am |
I thought that some of you might really enjoy this article.
| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 9:54am |
I thought that some of you might really enjoy this article.
Thanks, that was a good article. I'm a born talker. I'm a little shy at first, but once I get more comfortable, I could talk for hours. I agree with the part of the article that said some people feel uncomfortable with deep conversations. I think this last guy that I dated was like that. He felt like I was interrogating him at dinner, when I was just asking questions to get to know him better. The article also said that deep conversations were a gift. I know he didn't feel that way, but he probably had something to hide. And, he didn't want a relationship anyway. I suppose if all you want is sex, you don't need to know much about the other person.
I like how the article gave that sample conversation and how to dig deeper. Because of the last two guys that I dated not wanting relationships, I'm beginning to think that I should ask a guy on the first date whether he wants a relationship or just sex (I'm sure there's a more politically correct way to say it -- but that's the general idea). If all he wants is sex -- see you later, bye. Saves everyone time that way, right?
Donna
Okay everyone - what is your opinion? What is a tactful way to ask a guy what he wants regarding sex versus a relationship?
He was very open to the whole relationship thing to start off. I don't think he misrepresented himself at all. I think he thought a relationship is what he wanted, then once he found himself in one...he felt smothered.
I would ask questions about a guy's most recent relationships and examine his patterns. I'd tell him from the start that I was looking for a relationship and not a sex only thing. I did make this statement to my most recent boyfriend and that's how we got the subject going. Obviously, we didn't end up getting married, but I still don't feel like I was "used" for sex. It was a relationship.
A lot of times, you'll get the "I don't know, when I find the right person, I'll know. " At which point a good follow up question would be "Are you ready to find the right person? or are you just looking to have fun and date casually?"
I don't think any of these questions would put a guy on the spot or make him feel interrogated. If it does, there's your sign right there!