How many girlfriends do you have???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
How many girlfriends do you have???
22
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 5:45pm

I was reading a post on another board, and I got to thinking....I only have one friend that I go out with, and two or three that I have been friends with since college.

Kim

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 10:51am

Hi Eileen


I don't remember seeing you here before so just wanted to welcome you to the board!

Avatar for whyscracker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 12:43pm

I went through a long physical rehabilitation in which my SO gradually isolated me and the more he isolated me the more dependent I was on him. Now out of my cave, moved away from him though he still comes to see me he understands it's my house and I've been going out to see my gf's which are a lot older than me and don't go out at all. Making new gf's has been off the priority list, I make better friends with guys, but that's tricky, and often temporary because as soon as they get an SO the partner gets jealous, but lately have had two gf's in a gay couple and that's been a lot of fun and I have a gf from out of state visiting me with her daughter who is tight with mine on the yearly vacation. I visit her in the winter, usually. We have it backwards since she has real winter there and we usually have a miserably hot and humid August, but the weather has been fantastic all summer and I can't wait to share it, which reminds me, I have to finish working on the *new* house to make room for her -still unpacking! The difficult situation is that the day she will be visiting is SO's b-day and she doesn't want him near her, also difficult because she gets possessive, she got so possessive that she left in a huff two years ago and we haven't had a visit since.


gay friends aren't nearly as complicated.


Jeannie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 3:25pm
Hi Tara, thanks for the welcome. I have been "single" now since the end of May and we're in the process of mediation. Additionally, the marriage was lonely long before that time though. The divorce should be final some time this fall. Also, I have started dating again and enjoying being single.

As for my screen name -- It means #1 Science Teacher -- No1SciTchr...although it seems that when looked at quickly people mistake it to be stitcher -- as in sewing, LOL!

I'm glad to be here and will chime in when i have time. Normally, i hang out on the debate boards -- sah vs. woh...

Eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 5:53pm
LOL..I thought it was stitcher too.

Kim

Kim

Avatar for comountainsprite
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 6:46pm
It's been interesting to see the responses because I always consider myself kind of a loser since it doesn't seem that I have girlfriends that I go do stuff with anymore. I have one friend that I've been friends with since college and we've at times been really close. We used to have lunch together once a month or once every other month at least because she worked practically across the street from where I work. But she lost that job and bought a house about 1 hour away and now we hardly ever see each other. We talk on the phone when we can catch each other but we've both got so much going on that we end up playing phone tag as much as anything. Then I have a couple friends that I chat with at work, but we really don't do anything together. I have a couple of friends who live much farther away that are mainly email buddies but good friends nonetheless. The funny thing is that I had to go to a bridal shower last weekend and was thinking it must be a huge party that I was invited because I've only talked to the bride a couple times and a few emails in the last year or so and not much more before that since she quit her job at the same place I work at. But I went and it turned out it was a very exclusive group (and I know that because I know her to be somewhat a social butterfly with lots of friends and acquaintances) and she was saying how good it was to see me and introducing me as a really good friend--that she couldn't believe we hadn't had a chance to see each other in so long. It kind of made me feel good to know that I was valued. Most of my "friend" time though is spent with dh. He doesn't spend much time with his guy buddies either except for when we're all doing a group thing, and was kind of that way even before we got together so . . . maybe it's just our personalities.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 11:29am

Hi Eileen, welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 4:02pm
Maggie, thanks for the welcome. Mediation is basically crafting your own agreement with the help of a mediator -- as opposed to letting the lawyers decide. our mediator throws things out for discussion/evaluation, etc and we hash it out until we reach an agreement. Right now we're working on the financial piece -- including me buying our family home at the mortgage price (it's worth $100K more than that) and making sure that i have enough to live on between child support and alimony. When we finish the whole financial piece then each of our lawyers will look it over and give us some input. Then we start on the parenting plan piece -- which, in a way, we're already doing since he's been out of the home since then end of May. It's generally not meant to hash out the emotional stuff -- although it's hard to deal with some of this and NOT get emotional. In fact, at the last session, i blew up twice at him, LOL.

My son is almost 13 and going into 8th grade. My middle daughter is 10 1/2 and is a special needs child -- she needs complete and total care. She's in a wheelchair and tube-fed. Our youngest is an 8 1/2 year old girl who is, quite appropriately, nicknamed DQ (aka Drama Queen) and she is going into 4th grade.

Again, thanks for the welcome. It's interesting being back in the dating scene. I hope i'm not judged too harshly for dating before our divorce is final - I've been "alone" in that marriage for a long, long time and it is good to get out there again.

Eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 4:14pm

Eileen, you won't find any judges on this board....this is a very supportive place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 4:26pm
thanks. i didn't get a sense that i'd be judged, but i tend to hang out on debate boards and am used to getting "zinged", LOL.

ours would have been 15 years last week....and, honestly, i should have done this about FIVE years ago....

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 4:37pm

"ours would have been 15 years last week....and, honestly, i should have done this about FIVE years ago...."


Same with me, totally!