How to meet men who are interested
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| Sat, 09-17-2005 - 9:54pm |
I am a 44 yo single mother - - - Where do I meet men????I have found the online experience quite negative with more game players than quality men. I work and therefore am quite busy with work or with my children. I have found that once a man finds out you have children - all you see is them walking in the other direction. Over and over again it is the same thing, no one wants any responsibilty. They want independent women (tell me who is more independent than a single mom)who have lots of free time for fun and travel)I think they confuse independence with someone with not many responsibilites.
Sorry about the ranting, but I feel that I am young enough, and attractive enough to attract a man, but that no one is willing to take a gamble on a woman like me. I live in a fairly affluent community, where most people are married ( the latest demographic survey had divorced people as less numerous than widows) so I feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Other women who are single and in my age group have just given up - I can't even get my single women friends to plan activities with. The whole situation is really starting to get me down. I really seek companionship in my life and at this point feel every direction I turn there are roadblocks.
ADVICE, ADVICE, ADVISE
Thanks,
~ P. ~

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Judy:
Great response!! You are so right. You know that I'm trying to get over my ex and I'm not looking to date right now. But, I did do some surfing on the web this weekend. Also, I was at a party with my cousin on Saturday, and I circulated and flirted a little. I just want to be out there, doing things to keep busy. I think that if you feel good about yourself, that will show to everyone on the outside. Again, I think back to that e-mail from tstephnic that gave tips for meeting men. My favorite is to be approachable. He said that if you look miserable like you "just crapped a watermelon", no man is going to want to approach you. And sometimes when you go out in public you don't feel like looking your best, but it might be worth it to make sure you look good, because you never know who you might run in to.
Donna
Softballs:
"Woman today have kids at an older age than they did years ago. You see so many personal ads where woman who are in thier forties have 9 yr.old kids." That would be me. I'll be 40 in November, and my twins are 8. And I know you are not alone when you say that you have raised your kids and do not want to date a woman with small children. I was at a party this weekend with my cousin and our kids. I was talking to this man, who I later found out was single. He seemed interested, then my daughter came up and sat on my lap and fell asleep. This man got pretty quiet, and then he left the party shortly thereafter. I'm sure my daughter had something to do with his change in demeanor. But that's ok. I'm more interested in meeting men with kids anyway. I also have that problem with girlfriends. Alot of my married friends have teenage children, and I don't. That makes getting together with our children a bit harder. Teenagers don't want to hang with little kids. Anyway, I'm not giving up hope. I know there's someone out there for me. I also understand that single men like their freedom, whether they are divorced or never been married. That's why the last guy I dated just couldn't commit. He liked his freedom too much. That's what makes this whole dating game more challenging. But, I still believe there is someone out there for everyone.
Donna
Dont get me wrong I love kids all ages. I am the person at the party the kids all love. I dont mind playing wiffle ball with them and playing anything with them to help keep them busy. I just dont want to do it full time. My youngest is going to be 15 in a month.
I do feel however women do have it rough. I know a few woman where the dads are not in the kids life and their life is a mess. I do wish you all the best in your search for romance. You never know maybe even I could change my mind.
I definitely prefered the idea of only dating men with children, mostly because they are in a similar situation.
Thanks for your advice. I really do appreciate it.
The trouble is I'm already fabulous (LOL)
No, I completely get it and most days I am completely content with my single-ness. It's just every once in a while I get that urge to want to be significant to someone else.
Silly, but true.
Oh and I'm planning to get the spider veins removed from my left leg.
I go out in NYC on occasion ( I live about 20 miles into the suburbs of NJ). Maybe one day we'll share our war stories.
Continued success on building the life of YOUR dreams!!!
Patrikia
Interesting. . .
However you operate in a man's world. I think single men are viewed more favorably than single woman. I am very involved in my kids activities, in fact I drop them both off to school before work each day and on fridays i pick them up. We do tennis, flag football, basketball and baseball and each of them plays an instrument. I chat with all my peers - funny but they are all married.
My experience has been that most women (who are not your near and dear friends - and some who are) are not that kind to their single sisters. I feel to be viewed as more of a threat. Sometimes entering into social situations where most of the attendees are couples is very uncomfortable simply because of others insecurities. Ever hear the song "Harper Valley PTA". While the sentiments maybe 30 yrs old, not much has changed.
The recent statistics from the town I live in included this
About 30,000 residents (including adults and children)
Of those over 15,000 were married, There were singles about 2000, widows comprised about 1400 and divorced 1154. Even widows outnumber me.
I appreciate the advice -
Thanks Donna,
I'm sorry for your break up. I was involved with a man who was divorced, no kids, who broke my heart in the same way. We really clicked and had a great time together, but my kids made him uncomfortable. He visited sick relatives in hospitals with me and attended funerals, but could not deal with an afternoon with the kids. After 15 months we broke up - what a feeling to be rejected because of children - the people nearest and dearest to a mothers heart.
I will keep on trying and you do the same too!!!
Patricia
Try and do the reverse . How would a guy find you? Where are you hiding?
My friends laugh at me because I am so slow to pick up on things. They feel the woman at the bank is feeling me out when I think she is being nice. I guess it been that long I dont even realize it.
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