How to Start Dating Again???
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How to Start Dating Again???
| Wed, 07-23-2008 - 11:47pm |
Hello all, sort of new here but always like to check out posts on this site.
| Wed, 07-23-2008 - 11:47pm |
Hello all, sort of new here but always like to check out posts on this site.
I promise you, you will get FANTASTIC advice on this board, but my dating heels are on the rack and I have NO ambition to see or smell a man at this point. Having said that, I've probably dated more men in 8 years then most of the women here put together. Why? Because I'm a wreck, so don't take any dating advice from me. :) I can guarantee you, you'll get a laugh at my scenarios or you'll just feel plain sorry for me, because I still don't "get it".
I can tell you that my recent trips to Home Depot have proven that men do live there (I'm not guaranteeing good one's). So go ahead and start thinking home improvement. If not a date, then at least a little eye candy and maybe a few home improvement tips. :)
Welcome - glad you came out of lurkerdom.
I believe that in midlife "dating" will not just happen - because the pond has receded quite a bit - and single people are more scarce. PLUS we have the additions of baggage and preferences that further complicate things.
BUT I also believe dating should be mindful - with a purpose - not just for validation or to fill up lonely time.
So, if I was you and I wrote what you wrote, I would want this advice: find new activities and new friends so you are not lonely and so you find yourself as a single again and gain activities and hobbies that you like. That way you are bound to meet and attract someone with like interests and values. PLUS you will be a whole lot happier and more picky if you have new interests and new friends and fewer lonely patches.
I do not like bars - although I don't discount them for meeting someone - we have alumni games here and that is a great way to do alumni networking. I like the church, the gym, sports activities, your kids activities, meetup groups and online dating. Online dating is a whole new thing to learn of itself - because you have to learn to weed through bad profiles - meaning people who are not capable of a relationship or people who only want sex and attention because they are lonely or horny.
So, get out there and have fun and make a LOT of new friends! And come back with the stories. We hope you stick around - you can learn a lot here and we always welcome comments and ideas from new faces.
Thanks for the advice ladies!
Mel
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Hi Mel, and welcome.
I'll sing backup to Judy about getting out and doing things that YOU like to meet like-minded people. You will be less bored, make more friends and have a good time- and in that you may meet a guy who piques your interest!
The thing when we're bored and lonely, we tend to accept anyone into our lives that pays us attention, even if they're covered in red flags and don't treat us the best... but when our lives feel full, then we are more likely to be picky and wait for a better offer.
So what do you like to do?
"The thing when we're bored and lonely, we tend to accept anyone into our lives that pays us attention, even if they're covered in red flags and don't treat us the best... but when our lives feel full, then we are more likely to be picky and wait for a better offer."
So, so true. I have been guilty of this myself.
I should take a clue from all the women at my grandmothers assisted living facility. Most of the women are widows, but half of them are lively and wonderful, half look like they are planning their funeral. The lively ones do all sorts of interesting things, take part in everything offered. If they miss having a man around, they don't act like it. Actually, in my grandmothers case, after my grandfather died, it was like she became a whole new woman! She is still traveling abroad at 89 and planning her whoopdeedoo 90th birthday party. When I start whining, I should really just get in the car and go over to her place!