Wow PacSun - sounds like you have a great plan and got great advice here. I think this has been a good topic because it is likely many of us will date men who have children of all ages and with all sorts of challenges.
Probably the only other thing I can add is that she will be a work in progress over a long time - 2 steps back, 1 step forward kind of thing. And she may shun you at times - you will have to remember not to take what she does personally - it is more of a scared child lashing out.
I hope you can find some fun things to do for you - that always helps for sure.
I am better today thanks for asking - could eat a good breakfast - but still feel a little tired achy. I think I must have gotten a virus - so want to rest before I go back to full swing.
I did get the major long workouts done in all three sports - so that was good and I am fit and feel good - so this is only a little rest for a few days and then back in the saddle. They are running tonight - and I might go out in the desert with my camera to take some pix. The crew brought a pizza back to my room last night and were checking on me this morning. Some of the others are sick too - we are all blaming it on the airplanes!! LOL!!
I am glad you are feeling better today. It sounds like you needed some rest! Yeah, a nasty airline virus can really do it. It's nice the crew came and treated you to pizza. That is nice!!
Keep well and take it easy. Enjoy your time and that's an neat idea about taking pics in the desert tonight. That sounds cool! Be sure and share them with us!
My suggestion would be to ASK BE how he intends to deal with her, what his plans are for when she calls and such.
This is the advice I'm taking, Alison..
Already things are pretty good. I talked to him last night and he was so RELIEVED and grateful that he had someone (me!) to talk this stuff out with and have supporting him. He feels awful for his daughter. He wants to talk about some positive ways we mightbe able to direct her because he's tired of shelling out the dough when it does not change thinngs.
He was very appreciative when I said I would talk to her if she would like. Maybe I can be someone she can turn to. Who knows- maybe my support and friendship will eliminate her need to call someone like broom hilda who is nothing but trouble in disguise.
Thanks again for all the great advice here...it is invaluable to me!!!
Iw ould be pissed about losing out on the special time with my BF for sure. But with that said, I also agree, the last thing he needs is added stress from (probably his biggest support) you. It is after all his daughter, and I think I would be leery of competeing with that. All you can do is let him handle it the way he wants. After all its his decisions to make and not yours at all and if it turns into a blow out between you & BE how horrible will you feel if he chooses his daughter over you? It will only create tension between you & BE. That's not to say I think you're in the wrong for being mad. I would be l-i-v-i-d to be honest. Have a tantrum, blow up do whatever you need to....but not to BE, enlist a friend (or us!!!) to vent to because chances are, BE is fully aware he's enabling his daughter and perhaps making bad choices when dealing with her, but chances are also the last thing he wants is his love (you) pointing out what he's doing wrong especially when it involves his family, not yours.
I hope you guys can have a make up date with some good quality time together. why isn't this "wonderful" daughter bringing the kids? That sucks. At least the grandkids around would make it fun.... good luck with it all. I hope something amazing works out
I totally agree- there is no way I could get him to "choose" me...beside I would never ask him to, over his daughter. family is family no matter how bad they act or how much trouble. So I will be there to help support him and to suggest positive ways to help-
I love that I can come here to vent my tantrums and get mad! I can be real which feels great and then put on my strong supporitve face to BE now when he needs it most :o)
I have a very close friend that is going through this now. He is strict (and they are both usually in agreement) when it comes to her children, whom they have both raised. His other daughters, who he didn't have much to do with growing up, seem to get a free pass. They can and have run all through the juvenile justice system. Soon to be the adult system
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Wow PacSun - sounds like you have a great plan and got great advice here. I think this has been a good topic because it is likely many of us will date men who have children of all ages and with all sorts of challenges.
Probably the only other thing I can add is that she will be a work in progress over a long time - 2 steps back, 1 step forward kind of thing. And she may shun you at times - you will have to remember not to take what she does personally - it is more of a scared child lashing out.
I hope you can find some fun things to do for you - that always helps for sure.
I am better today thanks for asking - could eat a good breakfast - but still feel a little tired achy. I think I must have gotten a virus - so want to rest before I go back to full swing.
I did get the major long workouts done in all three sports - so that was good and I am fit and feel good - so this is only a little rest for a few days and then back in the saddle. They are running tonight - and I might go out in the desert with my camera to take some pix. The crew brought a pizza back to my room last night and were checking on me this morning. Some of the others are sick too - we are all blaming it on the airplanes!! LOL!!
Keep us posted!
I am glad you are feeling better today. It sounds like you needed some rest! Yeah, a nasty airline virus can really do it. It's nice the crew came and treated you to pizza. That is nice!!
Keep well and take it easy. Enjoy your time and that's an neat idea about taking pics in the desert tonight. That sounds cool! Be sure and share them with us!
Its hard. Im sorry (((hugs)))
Keep in mind that parental love doesn't end when they turn 18, and he will always be her Daddy.
mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16
Pac- I'm sorry you have to watch BE's go through this with his dd.
My suggestion would be to ASK BE how he intends to deal with her, what his plans are for when she calls and such.
This is the advice I'm taking, Alison..
Already things are pretty good. I talked to him last night and he was so RELIEVED and grateful that he had someone (me!) to talk this stuff out with and have supporting him. He feels awful for his daughter. He wants to talk about some positive ways we mightbe able to direct her because he's tired of shelling out the dough when it does not change thinngs.
He was very appreciative when I said I would talk to her if she would like. Maybe I can be someone she can turn to. Who knows- maybe my support and friendship will eliminate her need to call someone like broom hilda who is nothing but trouble in disguise.
Thanks again for all the great advice here...it is invaluable to me!!!
:o)
Iw ould be pissed about losing out on the special time with my BF for sure. But with that said, I also agree, the last thing he needs is added stress from (probably his biggest support) you. It is after all his daughter, and I think I would be leery of competeing with that. All you can do is let him handle it the way he wants. After all its his decisions to make and not yours at all and if it turns into a blow out between you & BE how horrible will you feel if he chooses his daughter over you? It will only create tension between you & BE. That's not to say I think you're in the wrong for being mad. I would be l-i-v-i-d to be honest. Have a tantrum, blow up do whatever you need to....but not to BE, enlist a friend (or us!!!) to vent to because chances are, BE is fully aware he's enabling his daughter and perhaps making bad choices when dealing with her, but chances are also the last thing he wants is his love (you) pointing out what he's doing wrong especially when it involves his family, not yours.
I hope you guys can have a make up date with some good quality time together. why isn't this "wonderful" daughter bringing the kids? That sucks. At least the grandkids around would make it fun.... good luck with it all. I hope something amazing works out
Thanks!!
I totally agree- there is no way I could get him to "choose" me...beside I would never ask him to, over his daughter. family is family no matter how bad they act or how much trouble. So I will be there to help support him and to suggest positive ways to help-
I love that I can come here to vent my tantrums and get mad! I can be real which feels great and then put on my strong supporitve face to BE now when he needs it most :o)
I have a very close friend that is going through this now. He is strict (and they are both usually in agreement) when it comes to her children, whom they have both raised. His other daughters, who he didn't have much to do with growing up, seem to get a free pass. They can and have run all through the juvenile justice system. Soon to be the adult system
Pages