How's Your Energy?

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
How's Your Energy?
12
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 7:16pm

Here's an article about boosting your Emotional Energy. Pretty basic, common-sense suggestions you would think. But I'll bet some of us (myself included) need a little reminder especially with the holidays approaching. Remembering not to live to please other people and allowing ourselves to just enjoy this time of year and not freaking out if we didn't buy the perfect gift for Uncle Harry, is sometimes hard at this time of year.

Hope you enjoy!

http://www.ivillage.com/relationships/features/articles/0,,276460_622260-1,00.html

Tara

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 9:46am

Tara,

These 4 tips are EXCELLENT!! At first when I read the title I wasn't that interested because I thought it had to do with energy - like physical energy - and I have a lot of that from all the exercise I do.

But then I read closer and saw "emotional energy" and clicked. I am going to list the four tips here so others realize how good these are; but I encourage everyone to click on your link to read the details. I might even buy that book that those came from.

1) Stop living to please other people.
2) Bring positive people into your world.
3) Always have something big and new on your agenda.
4) Never live in the past.

Maybe we should have a poll to see how we can all pledge to have something big and new on our agendas for 2005?

Here is mine:

I just signed up for a half ironman in St. Croix in May 2005 (1.25 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13 mile run) - that can be mine. AND I am cleaning out my closet and only going to have flattering, sexy clothing in there. Even the ratty, comfy nightgowns are going - even if I sleep by myself I am not going to look bad - not even for a minute.

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 12:50pm

I think they are good too. I'm sure alot of us think about our physical energy level first. but when you think about it, emotional energy and physical energy are intertwined. How often do we just feel emotionally drained and it comes out in physical symptoms?

So I think they go hand in hand.

Your idea is a good one, don't know if anyone else wants to make a pledge but I can. Not sure how you meant about doing a poll, to see who's interested you mean?

I need to stop wearing icky junk around the house too. And I have a man at home! ha. But I love to just throw on my icky, ratty sweats or tee-shirt when I'm just hanging at home or going to bed. I'm not going to start wearing lingerie, but maybe I could buy some nicer "active wear" or something to wear around the house.

Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Fri, 11-19-2004 - 11:43am

West:

Good idea. Here's my pledge to do something bigger and better in 2005:

It's going to take a while, but I am going to work on my basement; get rid of the clutter, make the extra room into an office and buy a computer to put in there. If you could see my basement now, you would agree that this is definitely a "bigger and better" project. I'd like to make my basement useful again.

I don't buy myself a lot of clothes, but I do afford myself one luxury; and that is that I buy all my underwear and bras and most of my sleep stuff like pjs and sleepshirts at Victoria's Secret. Yes, it's expensive, but their stuff is made well and it lasts a long time. Plus, it fits me great and I feel great wearing it. Plus I always shop the clearance catalog and their clearance bins at the store. Anyway, that's one indulgence I won't give up. I love their bath products too. Just my two cents.

Donna

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 11-19-2004 - 11:50am

Well, yeah, it SHOULD be common sense. But doing these things is easier said than done sometimes. Especially if you have some bad habits.


On the goals thing: I HAVE a few. But I am terrible at taking action. I'd love to have someone pushing me in a direction, but J is soooo kind and he hates to be pushed so he'd never do that for me. LOL Time to get back with the program and do some things that I want to do!


. Bring positive people into your world...

Becky

 

 

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 11-19-2004 - 6:22pm

MMm, well I guess if he's that negative you would have to reconsider whether you'd want him as your husband. But from everything you've described about J I dont' think he's that negative. You know the type of people they're talking about, those that are all doom and gloom OR WORSE YET, all drama! I have had a friend who was all drama and I finally had to decide to cut her out of my life because she seriously did emotionally drain me.

J's not that bad, is he?
;)
T

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 10:53am

J's not that bad, is he?...Right now? Yes. It's a long story. But reconsidering if I want him to be my husband would totally finish Tyler off. I can't do that to him. And I do love him, so I can't do that to US.


He needs help. I hope he gets it, because I can't make him.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 11:10am
This doesn't sound good Becky. Does he see the problem as a problem? I assume it is the way he treats Ty?
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 11:41am

Read my response to Mel's "hey Bec" question to me for a little explanation.


In a nutshell, J is very angry and defensive. He's lost the ability to control it lately. THe more I notice it and try to talk to him, the worse he gets. It's VERY bad now.


As an example: Last sunday, he wanted Ty to clean his room before church. I closed the bedroom door behind me and asked "Why did you need Ty to clean his room right now?"


I did ask in front of Ty. I didn't tell him I thought he was wrong. I didn't let Ty know I disagreed. I didn't tell Ty NOT to clean his room because "dad shouldn't tell you that".


I simply asked a question.


Jas about blew a nut. It caused a dramatic 1.5 hour discussion because I am ALWAYS questioning him. He can't stand it. He really thinks no one should question anyone else. He feels that I undermine his authority. The truth is, I NEVER EVER question him in front of Ty. ANd I rarely do so normally because the confrontation is so bad. But I can't hide from it anymore. I can't coddle him. He's going to have to face his problem.


It isn't good. But J isn't a leaver, and I think down deep he really wants to get better. You know how hard it is when you have to face something about yourself. I know he's avoiding it. Running hard. And that's probably why he gets more and more defensive. I'll try to love him through it. My folks are committed to standing by me, treating J with kindness, I asked and they agreed to COME GET TYLER more often and take him out of the house for "fun stuff" in the evenings. We'll all make it through. It's just a huge huge bummer right now. I know deep down I am crazy about him. And he very obviously loves Ty very much.

Becky

Becky

 

 

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 12:54pm

You know I can relate Becky
I know some of the issues you've had with J and I certainly wasn't questioning how difficult your relationship can be. I hope you don't think I was. I only meant to distinguish J and his issues (or I guess both your issues, cuz it's all inter-related) from a truly "negative" person. To me a negative person is always doom and gloom, is always making bad choices, always thinking the worst. From what you've described i don't think he's that.

He's just got a lot to work through, both of you do. And I totally know how you probably feel like your beating your head against a wall most days.

Hugs
Tara

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 1:30pm

Yes Tara, I know. And you're right. A doomsayer is just that. You're right that J's stuff is a separate thing. And I do feel like beating my head against a wall. That's why it came up.


But I did not feel like you were minimizing. Not at all. But this is sometimes a great place to vent, you know what I mean? :)


No worries!

Becky

Becky

 

 

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