Hump Day "date"

Avatar for mhash
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Hump Day "date"
36
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 1:33am

OK not quite a "date" and it's past Hump Day but thought I'd share....

Wow… talk about baggage! And I don’t care! LOL. I had a “date” with this 45(?) yr old woman (I just turned 54) whom I met at a mutual friend’s birthday party. From talking with her at the party it was obvious she was not relationship material because she is still grieving the loss of her newborn daughter along with the divorce of her new husband 9 months ago because she could not get over her grief.

Regardless I wanted to do something with women that I like hanging with because until I meet “the One” I want to get out. So we finally arranged a time/place/event to get together (I explicitly told her that this is NOT a date which she acknowledged by telling me that she is not ready to date anyone).

We went to a free city park bluegrass concert where I brought picnic food, chairs, blanket, and my dog and she brought drinks and dessert. At the end I really felt she can be the One. She joined the Peace Corps at 40 but had to go back to take care of her 20 some year old son who had to be hospitalized for a schizophrenic break. He is now 25 and living with her. She is still struggling with her grief and her job as a fundraiser for a non-profit. She is training for a 10Km on top of that.

What I love about her (besides the fact she is very beautiful – she models for a local department store) is that she is a Big Sister, been a Peace Corps volunteer, a non-profit worker, low-key, kind, likes my dog (who doesn't? LOL) and easy to talk with.

Ah well. It’s all good for regardless I have made a nice emotional connection with her and that’s good enough for now. We parted with a hug.

I hope to do something else with her.

Mark

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Avatar for mhash
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:01pm

I am not sure what you mean about not finding but being. I know about BEing (for that is my spiritual practice) as well as attracting as well as ....

I have met (found) a LOT of great women (by being myself) who would be great friends if I had the time and energy devoted to create a friendship but as I have found it takes a lot of upfront effort to establish a new adult friendship especially as I get older.

I keep meeting great women and eventually one will be The One.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:51pm

she is still in this time of difficulty and need to withdraw from socializing. .... she did not say I overstepped any boundaries


I'm sure Kathleen is a very different person than I, but this is exactly how I would have handled the situation.

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Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:56pm

What I mean about not finding The One.... I mean that whether you are a man or woman.. we need to become the person we want to become... BE a date worth keeping and then someone right for us will come into our lives....

Now I'm speaking as a woman but the book has a couple chapter specifically for men. I don't sit around, do nothing and wait .... I also don't obsessing about looking... I get out and do stuff... I become a better person with every choice i maek... the thing is we attract the same kind of people that we are.... So if I'm being selfish and insecure, than i will keep attracting selfish and insecure men. If i become joyful and responsible, then I will begin to attract fellow joyful people... Opposites attract only when I don't want to work on becoming a better person. The book explained that i want the other person to fill in on my weaknesses... Well, that's not what healthy people should do.... Healthy people should try to grow in all areas... Become... Do.... The best way to find a date worth keeping is to Be a date worth keeping.. it's always about our inner self and not the outer stuff... hence not about finding The One.

So that's what I'm talking about....

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:11pm

Thanks for elaborating and clarifying. It sounds like we are on the same page.

I see as an indicator of my spiritual health by the people I attract in my life.

I feel pretty good about where I am at nowadays.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:16pm

How To Get A Date Worth Keeping by Dr. Henry Cloud


This is an excellent book!

Avatar for mhash
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:18pm

As I stated originally, I do not expect a romantic relationship with Kathleen considering she is still in her healing phase of life.

I just enjoy her company and hope to establish a friend relationship with her.

I find it is challenging to do that with a lot of women since it takes a lot of time and effort to establish friendships with people in my age bracket.

Mark

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