I allowed myself to get talked into a

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
I allowed myself to get talked into a
7
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 11:04am
date last Saturday.
I've emailed with him from a 4 months ago, right after my XF when I was doing Chemistry and we were matched. I didn't pursue it after a few emails ( I gave him my private email). He was very much interested, but I was more interested in someone knock out sexy that I eventually dumped, so I could heal. Anyway, he contacted me last Thursday to ask me if I had Cinco de Mayo plans and to see how I was doing. Then he asked if he would ever succeed in having a chance to date me. Soooo, I said yes and he asked if he could take me to a Mexican Restaurant on Saturday. I decided Saturday would be great. I haven't dated in almost 2 months and really wanted a margarita.
Ever date someone that doesn't quite attract you in different areas, but something about him is just so very nice that you both really click?
Well, M seems that way. He's a full time dad of two girls (13&15)and an all around very nice guy. He's been single almost 6 years now. I am his second date in that time frame. He spent the last years focusing on his daughters. He's good looking, but he's just very different background wise from me. Maybe that's good though. I always date the guys with abandonement issues from one parent or another and both his parents are still married, very close knit family and he cares for them.
Very different from all of my past relationships. His wife cheated on him with a friend of his, so he had that issue, but he isn't bitter about it anymore. He said it took about 2 years to get over and now he just laughs about it the way I do with my x husband. His X and him have a good relationship and he even went deep sea fishing last summer with his X wife's husband, who was the friend she left him for.
Anyway, we had a great time. He didn't try to kiss me or touch me. He was very nice and we laughed alot. He is the first date that doesn't travel, does not live far away nor does he seem to have issues at this point. He seems like a very solid person who is very much into children and not just his own. I very seriously explained to him my relationship with my XF and that I am not looking for a relationship right now, but that a friendship would be nice. He was very accepting of that. Their are certain things about him that are so NOT like me and we seem to be very different in certain aspects of dress and style (he's a jeans guy and down to earth country boy), but on the other hand we are very much alike. I really enjoyed his company. However, I don't have any plans to date him in the next week or two because I have my own plans. It's me time now and I do not want to jump into anything. I explained to him that we can try to maybe go out a little more often once my girls are away for the summer. They leave in 6 weeks. Until then, I need more time and space. Again, he was very accepting of that, so we'll see. It was nice to just go out but I know I'm not ready otherwise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 6:04pm

This sounds quite good. Somehow your post got buried all the way on the second page. Good thing I looked there!!

I like everything you write about him. And better still that it is going on your terms.

Keep us posted!

Where are your girls going? That is great that you will get a little time to yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 7:41pm

It sounds like you're in a very healthy frame of mind -- open to possiblities, without heavy expectations (read DRAMA) and that's a good thing! Sounds like you also enjoyed yourself with his company. So it's worth another date down the road.


Keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 9:41pm
Sounds great! If I could get my head on straight, and meet a guy like that, it would just be wonderful. A truly positive read, inspiring actually. BTW, IMHO sometimes the hotties out there aren't all that - lol.
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 8:51am
They will be going to Germany for two months to visit my Mom, my X husband and his parents. This is always the break I need and look forward to. :)
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 12:58pm
Take it from a woman whose SEEN it all. LOL I've dated some ugly guys, because I thought they might be nicer and still had some REAL jerks on my hands. So looks definitely doesn't mean nice! I have now decided that if I had to date a jerk then I rather have a pretty hunky one to look at verses the ugly ego maniac jerk sitting across from you that doesnt allow you to swallow your food because he's so darn butt ugly. Not to mention a cute guy dumping me is MUCH more acceptable to my vane self then an ugly one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 2:55pm

Yes I guess that's true, I've just sep. from my "hottie" husband so that's my frame of reference. I suppose butt-ugly men have issues too. You know I honestly don't know what I want in a guy, because since H was fairly attractive, I have had to see 15 years of him getting hit on right left and center, it was nice for a while because inside he was down to earth and he didn't let it affect him or go to his head. But a few years back he took on a gov't job. I have a lot of prejudice against gov't and union workers so, that's my problem, can't stand arrogence even if it's a coping mechanism for work. But I must be o.k. to a point because the money and support is now there - lol we take the good with the bad.

Funny how a good looking jerk is more acceptable than an ugly jerk. I wonder if men think the same in their own right about women? Now I'll be thinking about that all day.

But, food for thought, you can hardly call your recent date a jerk now, can you?

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 3:26pm
no, he defintely isnt' a jerk, nor ugly: just different. Very southern with a very slow syrup drawl. I sometimes just grammatically correct him when he: "done" that. I am very articulate so sometimes it just feels like nails on a chalkboard wall. However, when he calls to say "good morn'n darlin..", it makes me laugh.