I am Powerful

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
I am Powerful
10
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 12:58pm

This is good for all of us, but specifically dedicated to Pac~Sun today.


Love to you, Sweetie!


I Am Powerful


There is nothing as incredible as feeling powerful and in control of your own life! However, you are not alone if you have ever felt like you give your power away to others and you don't know what to do about it.


Here are some signs you may be giving away your power to others:


You doubt yourself.
You try to make everyone else happy.
You go along with others to avoid making waves.
You look for approval from others instead of from within.
You buy into other people's drama.
You allow yourself to be intimidated.
You have poor boundaries.


Any of this sound familiar to you? It does to me. I doubt myself. I look for approval from others. So why do I do this? There are many reasons we give our power away. It might be a habit. It might be the way we were raised. We might be afraid of confrontation. Maybe it feels good in the moment to take care of someone. What happens when we focus only on that one little moment in time instead of considering the long term impact?


Each time we give our power away, we sell a little bit of our soul. Over time this adds up. The price is quite high. Even if it feels good in that moment, overtime it eats at our soul. The good news is we can learn to be powerful, to be in control of our life. Here are some suggestions:


Remember to breathe.
Practice staying in your own energy, space, etc.
Learn to say "no" and mean it.
See yourself as a whole being, with all the right answers.
Use your anger wisely and stand up for yourself. Anger isn't always bad - just use it wisely.
Ask for what you want and need.
Realize that other people have their own path and you are not responsible for them.
Remember that someone else's behavior almost never has anything to do with you. Practice just observing it without any attachments.


When we choose to live our life from a place of strength and trust, when we are living authentically it means we have the courage to show up as our true self. It doesn't mean being rude or inconsiderate. It does mean speaking our truth and believing in who we are at our very core.


Today I choose to be my authentic self. Today I will not apologize for that. Today I choose to be powerful and it feels really great!


Today I hope you'll choose to be your authentic self. Today I hope you will not apologize for it. Today I hope you will choose to be powerful and it feels really great!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: mnmoon70
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:29pm

Moon...


What incredible timing. What an empowering post! I needed this today, to take in and to use. Talk about timeing...Blue Eyes called me just now while I was reading this. He wants to talk to me after work. My feeling is that he will appologize and want to work things out.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: mnmoon70
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 2:08pm

Pac~Sun,


I am so glad you are able to draw some strength from that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: mnmoon70
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 2:22pm

I'm leaning towards resolve. I can't hate him. We've shared so much and became so close. I know that if I was to cut him out without talking and resolve, I would not feel good inside. I just need to make things clear to him, about me and about what I need in life, as a person, and in a future relationship. It is not to berate him or critisize, but to let him see me (showing my personal authenic me without appologizing for being me!!) and I will feel better knowing that at least I made the effort to let him understand. If he is too defensive to hear me or if his addiction does not let him understand me and my reasons, well that is not my fault, and at least I did everything I could.


I guess I need to express this to him whether he will really hear me or not. I feel I need to do it outwardly and with him present. I suppose that I could theoretically get resolve totally on my own without even explaining anything to him, but with our history and and our connection, I want to have this talk. I do not know what will come out of it at this moment. But I do know one thing for certain...I am going in with my needs and boudaries set and clear, and he will leave tonight knowing what I need in a realtionship...and that one of those needs is a sober, non violent, caring, respectful man who will never put substances or friends, or interferances as priority over me. Sound selfish? I don't care! haha!!! I really don't! At this point, after

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: mnmoon70
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 2:29pm

I am standing on my desk chair cheering you on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: mnmoon70
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 7:55pm

You doubt yourself.
You try to make everyone else happy.
You go along with others to avoid making waves.
You look for approval from others instead of from within.
You buy into other people's drama.
You allow yourself to be intimidated.
You have poor boundaries.

YES YES YES YES - a thousand times yes - this is very good stuff - at least that is a list of things we do not want and it shows we have to work on being strong alone and on putting ourselves first.

I have worked on this stuff for 7 years after my divorce and am now invincible!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
In reply to: mnmoon70
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 9:22am

Thank you for this, it is absolutely awesome!!! I am printing it as well!


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: mnmoon70
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 9:41am


I can't wait to hear that you were announced at one of your races as that:


"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE INCREDIBLE INVINCIBLE IRON WOMAN...........

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: mnmoon70
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 9:48am

Thanks, Moon!! Well, I have officially started training for the IM starting Monday after 4 weeks off. And it is not pretty! I was sick for 3 of those 4 weeks and am still not 100% although good enough to start. I was slow in the pool today and my legs are tired from just a bit of cycling and running the previous days. But I know in a few weeks I will be strong again. Sometimes when I think of the IM - I think wow how neat that I will do that and sometimes I think - how in the heck am I going to do that?

The cool thing is that when I sent my training schedule to MA he said - "I can do that too!" and he wants to be with me on some of it. He is getting his bike tuned up so we can ride on the weekends.

We found out that he is still a very gifted runner. He said he felt he was running really slow and when we calculated his time and distance we found he was running 7 minute miles!! He used to win his cross country races in HS. Yesterday he ran 10 miles on 1:20 and he was walking part of it because part of his trail goes over boat docks and you can't run on those. And he was not sore after that run and could have run longer. We are going to do a half marathon together at the end of January and I am convinced he can at least win his age group - and this is a very fun discovery for him and for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: mnmoon70
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 9:58am

OH, Man!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: mnmoon70
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 10:03am

Wow your daughter sounds like the perfect cross country runner with her physique - and I can see how you don't want her to play football!! I wouldn't like that either.

Thanks for your kind words. I really have a good feeling with this one. We match in so many ways on so many levels. We both say we are lucky. I am having fun with him!!