I can't believe I feel this way!!! HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2003
I can't believe I feel this way!!! HELP
4
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 1:45pm
A big group of us went out for my girlfriend's birthday this past weekend, and I ended meeting a guy (from within our group) who I got to know. We had some really nice conversations and he was cracking me up the whole night! He said at the end of the night that he would like to see me again. Now, I explained to him that I am getting divorced and that I have two kids - which he said he wouldn't hold against me – hmmmmm-for some reason I find that hard to believe. I gave him my number but he hasn't called. Do they really wait a few days before they call??? I haven't dated someone in over 12 years so this feels so foreign and surreal to me right now. I can't get this guy off my mind - I feel like I'm going nutty. I sitting here at work, and I just start thinking about him. It's just crazy to me. I barely know the guy! Someone please pull me back down to reality PLEASE!!!
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 2:00pm

Sending magic dust in hopes he'll call you. However, reality is, you are going through a divorce and you do have kids. Going through a divorce, is probably the worst of both. Why? Because most men just don't want to deal with that sort of fresh baggage. If he calls cool, but if he doesn't, you have to understand where he's coming from.
As for kids, get used to being the single mom now, because take it from a single mom (7 years) who has met a LOT of great guys, then I mention the word kids and watch the skid marks and smoke.

It sounds negative, but it's true. This weekend, I met a woman who has no children. Great and beautiful girl who can't get a date because she's DIVORCED! She feels like she has the scarlet letter. So you have to consider the fact that we have two scarlet letters or more on our forehead.

It's an adjustment, it's hard, but I just rather tell you to not wait around for the call, but I do hope he does.

Not sure if you are new to the board or not, so I am just going to say Welcome! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2003
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 4:05pm

Thank you for a reality check and your warm welcome! I am new to the board, so let me give you a little background. My divorce will be finalized within the next few months – however my marriage was long over before I decided to file. I have been a single parent for a few years (even though I was married) – towards the end he was never involved with my kids and was only making financial deposits to make sure we got by. I unfortunately had to move back in with my parents so that I can save up to buy something us soon. I feel that I am in a really good place to start my ventures out into the single world again – even though it is very intimidating.

You know, I went out last weekend with every intention of just having a good time and enjoying my time out of the house. Being a single mom I barely go out once a month without the kids. So I was very excited to just live it up.

It was so much fun being flirty again – it has been way too long since I’ve had that opportunity and I forgot how it made me feel. I was totally blind sided with how this guy and I could relate to certain aspects of our lives. He has never been married, nor does he have any kids, but he too just got out of a long relationship that would have made it to the alter, but he was grateful that it didn’t. He just seemed very real to me.

It has been so long since I have ever thought of being with another man, that I feel like I am too anxious with this. I mean he did say he was interested, but it could have been solely as a friendship and I am just reading into all wrong. I guess time will tell – hopefully I will simmer down in a few days!!! :) LOL

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 4:49pm

I think you just need to realize that sometimes it's just great to get the attention you need for the moment. Ya know? Enjoy the flirt, the warm feelings , the compliments and then just try to not worry about the rest. If its' meant to happen, it will happen. Believe me, easier said then done. LOL.

Welcome aboard! You are going to love the ladies on here. We are probably the best stepping stone for you when it comes to entering the dating world and believe me, you will get loads of laughs out of my own fiascos. If you haven't already! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 12:23pm
Well, he ended up calling last night, and we sat on the phone for almost two hours. It was kind of a strange feeling. In fact we both talked about how strange it was. The most craziest part about it all - is that he is so open with his feelings. I have never met a guy like that so it almost makes me think that he is just trying to play the game to see how far he can get me to go... I don't know if that is my gut or if I'm just too jaded. We have a lot of the same beliefs and family values - which is HUGE with me. I don't know - I just have to keep my head leveled and enjoy it for what it is - a friendship. Yeah it is easier said than done... LOL