I Could Have Killed Him I Was SO Mad
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| Sun, 03-26-2006 - 7:38am |
Yesterday evening I was watching a movie at around five. My cell phone had been blowing up all day, so when it rang for the umpteenth time, I just let it ring; didn't even look at it. 45 mins. later, I checked my phone and saw that I had a message from my exh. I checked it, only to hear, "um, yeah, just telling you that Leah is in the ER." That was it! I called him, and he told me that she fell off the bed, hit her head, and has to get stitches.
New guy and I sped to the ER, only to find that he wasn't there, he was in the clinic next door. Raced over there to find my dd soaked in blood, comletely filthy (I mean, she had food in her hair, he clothes were so dirty they were gray, and poop all over her back side where he hadn't changed her). I was livid! Somehow I managed to remain in control of my emotions though. Exh told me that the ER turned her away and made him go to the clinic. So, here she is with a two inch long, one inch deep gash over her right eye and down into the eyebrow. So, I called Dave the Doctor. During this time exh is b**ching (sorry, but that's what he was doing) about how I should just leave well enough alone and let the doc on duty take care of it. Well...it had already been almost 2 hours of her just sitting there, crying in pain, and no one doing one single thing. NO! I'm not just going to sit there.
I called Dave and he was there within minutes. By this time I had let the nurse pretty much have it. I told them that I needed to change her, my reply, "sorry but our bathrooms aren't equipped w/ a changing station." So, my reply was, "I really don't give a crap about your bathrooms, I'm changing her, you wouldn't want to sit in your filth, and either I change her right here in the waiting room, or you get me a room to change her in." So, I gotta room.
By this time, exh explained what had happened. Guess what - he wasn't there! He left her with his druggie friend, he wasn't watching her, and she fell off a bed, hit the corner of a window sill, and split her head open. I was even more furious, but never said anything ugly or yelled at him. He then gets up and leaves. He just leaves!
So, Dave takes us back to the ER where we are taken in. They have to strap Leah to a board just to wash the wound out. So there she is, on a back board, strapped down from stem to stern, crying so loud that it sounds like someone is murdering her, and crying "it hurts, my eye, mommy help me, it hurts!" So, I'm trying to be brave and comfort her, but can't manage to keep from crying myself.
Dave takes pix of the wound for me and documents everything. So, now I have to figure out what to do and how to go from here.
She ended up getting 3 stitches underneath the skin and 3 above and then had to have it glued shut. Funny how when I first talked to exh, all he could say was that "it's no big deal, it'll just have to be glued is all." Jackass! There will be a scar too because a big chunk of skin was completely missing, which upset Dave even more so than it upset me. He was just as livid as I was/am!
Then we had to stay a while b/c exh left w/out telling the whole true story, didn't know if Leah had been knocked out in the fall, and we were scared that she may have had a concusion. Great! What else?!
Exh leaves word with new guy to just have me call him in the morning to tell him what went on. I called him alright, but couldn't bring myself to rip into him like I wanted to. I just told that he shouldn't have left. He said, "well...I just can't be around you." The only time I raised my voice was when I said, "IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN YOUR CARE, AND YOU LEFT HER WITH SOME IDIOT! IT'S NOT ABOUT ME - IT'S ABOUT HER - AND YOU LEFT AND DIDN'T EVEN CARE!"
His reply? "whatever, can I have her tomorrow?" I just hung up.
This is so completely horrible to me! I'm getting a legal aide lawyer tomorrow and going from there.
I hurt so bad and feel like such a horrible mother. I feel like it's all my fault. I should've been with her. I know accidents happen, but how come these things aren't happening when she's with me? It's b/c he doesn't care and he doesn't watch her and he just leaves her with random, immature, bad people. I don't know what to do and I hurt about it! I could've killed him (not literally - but I sure did wan't to beat the living crap out of him, and I still do)!
Kait

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I am so sorry for all this. This is my worst nightmare so I can't imagine how difficult this is.
Get the lawyer and try to get a temporary order making his visitation supervised. In addition, until this is all worked out, I wouldn't give him any visitation above what is court ordered.
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