I don't know what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
I don't know what to do?
5
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 2:13pm
Hi everyone, I am new to this board and well today I decided to ask for advice... This is my dilema: I met this guy in August in one of these meetups where I live; since then he is been nice and let's say all the time he seem interesting in me... at the same time it was another girl that seems interesting in him and well thru other events we talked and we also start doing some salsa lessons until last friday when we met at one of this event
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 2:51pm

Hi Azul, welcome to the board.


I'm a little confused as to what your question is, but I will offer an opinion here.


A guy who is only separated from his wife only 4 months is not in a good position to be dating one- let alone TWO women.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 5:13pm

Thanks, I met him 3 months ago and we've been talking since then over e-mail, phone and thru the meetup evenets so I know him but been out with him it was my first time because in the past I was avoiding any outing with him... I've been divorced for almost 6 years and after that I jumped into a 3 years relationship that ended on 2/14/2006

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 5:43pm

If I date someone I look for a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 8:02pm

Hi Azul - welcome!! You have a pretty picture!!

I know you like him - but it does disturb me that he is still separated and with someone else and that he took you to his house instead of putting your best interest first.

I guess I agree with Alison.

I think it is okay to really like someone and have a crush. And heavens knows we have all been in this boat where we like someone a LOT. But the thing is that you have to look for someone who will want a good relationship, be capable of it and who is ready now to really love you back. I am not sure this one is ready.

Try to keep an open mind and do other stuff and meet other people. I think you are in a good place when you can set a goal that you want a guy who is really into you for whom you have an attraction and for whom checks off the important boxes - available being one of them - and you can have a great relationship. This goal is more important than WHO. When we get stuck on WHO before we get stuck on this GOAL it renders nothing but heartache.

Hope this helps and that you keep trying to meet more people.

If it was me, I would not be interested in him for those reasons. But that is just me.

Whatever you decide we are all here - glad to have you - hope you stick around and participate in all of our threads!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 10:21am
Thanks to all for your advices... Last night I saw him in our classes, we are partners in this lessons and well I tried to concentrate just in what the instructor was telling us, he stared at me the whole class and it was funny because the instructor was saying how great we are as a couple and start talking that dance is like a relationship and how well we are coneected... I don't know is this is just a coincidence but I decided just to put a final point in this and just let it go... I am not ready for what he is offering now and for sure he is not ready to commit to a relationship... I'll keep u post it in what is going on... Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!