I don't mind you comin' here

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
I don't mind you comin' here
22
Sat, 02-03-2007 - 8:21am

and wastin' all my time. 'Cause when you're standin' oh so near, I kinda lose my mind. It's not the perfume that you wear. It's not the ribbons in your hair. I don't mind you comin here, and wastin all my time. I guess you're just what I needed, I needed someone to feed. I guess you're just what I needed, I needed someone to bleed.

My date with Boss last night started with a change in plans and ended with a discussion.

In the late afternoon, it started snowing hard. We got about 4 inches in less than 3 hours. I do not drive well in the snow, so I was late coming home. I took the kids to the sitter's (just happened to be my friend who is also Boss' friend- I'm going to call her Brown-Eyed-Girl) and then came home. Boss had called when I was just leaving work to tell me the roads were crappy out our way, and to be careful.

I called him when I got home, and he said he'd be on his way to pick me up. However, by the time he got here, it had snowed even more with no signs of stopping, and I really didn't want to go out in the crap- even if he was going to be the one driving. We discussed hanging out with Brown-Eyed-Girl and her husband (her house is around the corner from mine), or just running to a nearby town for dinner, but in the end, we stayed here and watched a movie.

During the movie, there was some conversation, but it was light and getting-to-know you stuff. After the movie there was some kissing and making out on my couch. Then we had the discussion.

He initiated it, and basically, it was a "what do you want from dating" kind of talk. We both agreed that we don't know each other well enough yet to officially be in a relationship. We also agreed that we wanted to get to know each other better. Neither of us is looking for fun for fun's sake, or a fling, or to date indefinitely. He told me he's cautiously optimistic. I'm trying very hard to be cautious.

He is EXACTLY the type of guy I'd want in my life long term. So far. That scares the crap outta me. I know we've only actually seen each other twice, but that combined with the phone, email, and im conversations (and the fact that he's Brown-Eyed-Girl's friend) makes me feel as if we know each other much better than we would if we hadn't met through OLD.

Normally, going slow isn't too much of a problem for me, since even when I think I'm into a guy, I am second-guessing everything, and making myself crazy. With Boss, it just feels so natural. So, I'm torn between reaching for the e-brake lever and flooring the accelerator, since I can see myself careening wildly out of control with Boss yet it feels right and good. It's the good kind of scary, like a roller coaster that starts out wildly yet you know ends with a peaceful ride through a lake.

Wanting more isn't something I have felt about an actual person. I've wanted more in my life. I've wanted to be in a relationship. But wanting to be in a relationship and thinking I want to be in a relationship with someone specific are two different things. I have been reminding myself that we really don't know each other well. And that it takes time to get to know someone. And that either being completely aloof or jumping in headfirst has always been my pattern, and my downfall.

The fact is, he's doing everything right to make me want to be in a relationship- but lots of guys do at the earliest stages. The difference is that he's someone I'm completely compatible with so far. Most guys and I have a few fairly major differences at the beginning, which makes it natural for me to take things slowly, and then things peter out rather quickly.

I'm taking my kids skiing today with brown-Eyed-Girl, and Boss is supposed to come. I'm almost hoping he doesn't, simply because I don't know if seeing him again (this will be three days in a row) is good for my emotions. It's much too soon for me to be so emotionally involved with him. My head knows this, but my gut and my heart and screaming "take a chance" and "this time you will be pleasantly surprised". My head is calmly telling me to take it easy, enjoy it and him for what it is, but my head is barely being heard over my heart.

Thing is, my heart is the area I need to protect, not my head.

Thanks everyone, for letting me rant and vent and ramble. Your thoughts and comments are welcome, as always.

Moody, searching for her shield


Powered by CGISpy.com

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 11:12am

"4-year private college, graduated with honors, and left a $50K a year job because it wasn't "perfect". Because he has no motivation or ambition, he's making roughly half of that.... , and if it were not for her salary, he'd have nothing..."

Hmm interesting!

Here's my story: I left my 50K job with promo potential because it was unhappy there, though others enjoyed the place very much and thought it to be perfect. I have no motivation or ambition to suffer to get money or prestige at the expense of my happiness. I took a half time dead end job at the same university for half the money and am happy as can be, have more time for my son and although the mortgage is harder to pay, it was a great decision. Not a single moment of regret.

I don't know the whole situation, but happieness is way more important than money. If he is happier with 25K, than he has "more" than if he was unhappy at 50K. I wouldn't say anyone has nothing if they choose happiness over money... even if they are your ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Tue, 02-06-2007 - 10:13pm
I stand corrected.

Pages