I ended things.....

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
I ended things.....
14
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 12:57pm

I am very sad, because I care so VERY much about Nascar, but I know deep down, I did the right thing. I thought very hard about it and the entire stress about the children and his low tolerance for kids was what I just didn't want in my life. He portrayed things to be different, but when actually put to the test he failed miserably (too long to recap). I talked to him about it again on Wednesday, because I just felt more was missing then just him having to take it slow.


He told me he just had a hard time dealing with little children and had a low tolerance and high stress around them. He enjoyed my oldest because she is so quiet and shy, but he had trouble with my youngest and dealing with her energy and emotions. Thats ok, but that would never change.


I know how

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 2:01pm
Wow Cat - my heart goes out to you. I know all too well how it feels when one seems good but then there is a reason you know you can't continue and you have to let them go. In this case I think you handled everything really well and in the end made the best decision for you. And that is what counts - dating is dating - we date to see if they fit - if they do that is great and if they don't then we have to say goodbye. Your kids are lucky they have a great mom!! And you did set a good example for them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 2:39pm

I am so sorry for you precious but at least you did find out early enough.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 2:39pm

I just thought of something else - GOOD POINT about the grandkids!! I didn't think of that - but you are so right. You need one that is child friendly for that reason, too.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 2:52pm

Wow, good for you on recognizing that it was not going to work out and how respectfully you ended it.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 3:19pm
sometimes no matter how great they are or how much fun you have, you have to make sure all the pieces fit, not just for yourself, but for everyone affected.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 3:24pm

It's so hard to break it off with someone you like but you know it's not going to work out. It's always in your head "If they could just change ONE thing." And even if they did try to change that one thing they would more than likely be miserable and then that's just stress on everyone.

I hope your sadness leaves soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 3:46pm
I'm sorry it didn't work out :( Its so hard because our mother instincts are so strong and putting them first and foremost comes as such a protective instinct and I don't know what I'd do if (when the time comes)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 4:02pm
sometimes no matter how great they are or how much fun you have, you have to make sure all the pieces fit, not just for yourself, but for everyone affected.



Absolutely!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 4:16pm
You are a wonderful Mom. THIS is what good moms do ... they put their children FIRST. Im so sorry, but it sounds as if you both realized it & thats a good thing. (((hugs)))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 4:19pm
Im so sorry to hear about your break up....I know you must be feeling a slew of things right now but as everyone has already said, you should be so proud of yourself right now. It is so hard to make the right decisions in dating when it comes to our kids and you are super smart to call it off now before everyone including you became more and more intwined. Love is never perfect but some things just cant be fixed. And rest assured -there really are guys out there who dont have kids but want them and will love yours as well. I found one and he has always been great in this department even though I had to date many guys before him who werent able to deal. Chin up and all my best...
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