The thing is, you want someone who KNOWS he wants you and views YOU as the perfect one for him. It is NOT something you take personally - you are selling your own features and personality - and they either love it and take it or you say NEXT. You have no control over how they feel - men are individuals with peculiar tastes - if they like you or not it is not about you or something you take personally. You just have to wait until the one comes along who is that into you. It is a horrible experience to have unrequited love or to be with someone whom you have to chase. So, better to wait. Maybe if you have the attitude that you are still looking then this one won't matter.
Now, sometimes they do take a long time to process this in their head - so - he could still call and be into you.
Totally agree with your post! I've had dates too that had a crude sense of humor and though funny, I sometimes wondered, when he would shut that off or not. I have also wondered when it was a first date, if that wasn't something you didn't show right off the bat. I don't like sexual innuendos and discussions or crude comments when dating someone I barely know. I think it's fine when you have a relationship with someone, but not when you get to know someone. It just comes off wrong. My family would have a heart attack!
As for the no calls, etc. I've had that happen, but 99% of the time couldn't stand the date and I think the vibe rubbed off, so I literally said a little prayer in hopes he wouldn't. I can see how having a great time and then hearing nothing would make one think... How good is this guy in pulling a fast one? If he can act like he's having the time of his life and then not even call to say, "hey, I enjoyed you, but could we just stay friends?" that would be enough for me to realize the guy at least has enough etiquette and respect for me.
This whole calling thing is something that I am tired of. I feel that I am the one who usually reaches out to call (friends and now CNDG). I would like to receive a call so that I am affirmed that *they* want to talk with me, that they take the time and energy to reach out, that they miss me enough to make the phone call.
CNDG has her children and I have told her that I respect her time with them so I won't call. I have left text msgs (which she is OK with that form of communication). The last text to her was me requesting her to call me. Today is suppose to be "our" evening together and yesterday I texted asking her to call to confirm and talk. No call.
I decided not to reach out again and am prepared to spend tonight doing a long workout, run some errands, and probably find company here which was what I did before I met CNDG.
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Yeah, kind of.
The thing is, you want someone who KNOWS he wants you and views YOU as the perfect one for him. It is NOT something you take personally - you are selling your own features and personality - and they either love it and take it or you say NEXT. You have no control over how they feel - men are individuals with peculiar tastes - if they like you or not it is not about you or something you take personally. You just have to wait until the one comes along who is that into you. It is a horrible experience to have unrequited love or to be with someone whom you have to chase. So, better to wait. Maybe if you have the attitude that you are still looking then this one won't matter.
Now, sometimes they do take a long time to process this in their head - so - he could still call and be into you.
Totally agree with your post! I've had dates too that had a crude sense of humor and though funny, I sometimes wondered, when he would shut that off or not. I have also wondered when it was a first date, if that wasn't something you didn't show right off the bat. I don't like sexual innuendos and discussions or crude comments when dating someone I barely know. I think it's fine when you have a relationship with someone, but not when you get to know someone. It just comes off wrong. My family would have a heart attack!
As for the no calls, etc. I've had that happen, but 99% of the time couldn't stand the date and I think the vibe rubbed off, so I literally said a little prayer in hopes he wouldn't. I can see how having a great time and then hearing nothing would make one think... How good is this guy in pulling a fast one? If he can act like he's having the time of his life and then not even call to say, "hey, I enjoyed you, but could we just stay friends?" that would be enough for me to realize the guy at least has enough etiquette and respect for me.
This whole calling thing is something that I am tired of. I feel that I am the one who usually reaches out to call (friends and now CNDG). I would like to receive a call so that I am affirmed that *they* want to talk with me, that they take the time and energy to reach out, that they miss me enough to make the phone call.
CNDG has her children and I have told her that I respect her time with them so I won't call. I have left text msgs (which she is OK with that form of communication). The last text to her was me requesting her to call me. Today is suppose to be "our" evening together and yesterday I texted asking her to call to confirm and talk. No call.
I decided not to reach out again and am prepared to spend tonight doing a long workout, run some errands, and probably find company here which was what I did before I met CNDG.
Mark
so much for my ambivilence - I dreamt about him.
mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16
My theory for this year is to do instead of to think about doing.
April
Before SEV, I was kind of dating a guy (Nightgolfer) for a little while.
In the absence of communication, I tend to fill-in-the-blanks which is not the best way in dealing with relationships.
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