I have my answer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
I have my answer
41
Sat, 05-10-2008 - 2:05am

Wow, you all will not believe what has happened tonight... and please don't tell me i'm the one who screwed things up... i think TG just had his own issues and i was about to get caught in the middle... i feel better off right now... that might change tomorrow... we'll see.


Here's the story... at 10 pm tonight TG sent a text saying... "i'm not going to be home tonite"... and i thought... OMG.. not again.. i called him and it rang twice and went voicemail... obviously he hit the ignore button.. so i left a message saying "what's up, call me"... then i sent a text.. "do you still want to meet up"...


he replied with a text... i'm going to penn. i have alot of

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 9:30pm

Loony,

What a spineless wimp! He should have not broke with a text. No you did not go over the top talking to his friends. Like you said, you needed to know what was going on. Hey dont beat yourself up over what you did. I would have done the same thing. This is what I have been harping about men speaking their minds.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 10:57pm

Sean is good for what Sean is good for... i know this... but the first thought after breaking up is wanting things to go back to the way they were before meeting TG.... when i drove into the old city, i felt great... when i drive back to the new city... i feel a little empty.....i met TG only after one month of being here... so a lot of this "new" feeling reminds me of TG... he was part of that new feeling and new possibilities... etc...


Sean reminds me of the old .... and my old coworkers, too... i felt simpler... not attached to anyone... just a joyful free spirit who met many guys every week ... saw the humor in every situation... always had a funny story to tell....


Unfortunately (or fortunatly), Sean had to cancel today because he was called into work....


I still think about TG a LOT.... i have moments when i feel good about things... i had a clean break and didn't get too attached... so i don't feel too hurt... then other times, i miss him... i feel like i wanted to believe the things he told me....


I feel abandoned, rejected and alone... but ya know what.... it doesn't feel so bad... i'm not afraid of those feelings... i learned that i'm more afraid of love, connecting, and needing someone.... but i also learned that despite those fears.. i was

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 11:11pm

WOW loony.. what you shared is *HUGE* in my humble opinion ... >>I feel abandoned, rejected and alone... but ya know what.... it doesn't feel so bad... i'm not afraid of those feelings... i learned that i'm more afraid of love, connecting, and needing someone.... but i also learned that despite those fears.. i was trying... and i'm pleased with myself for that... i know i can't change or fix anyone... so i'm not even going to speculate what the deal was with TG... i'm going to take away positive memories.. for my sake.... keep focusing on me not his deal...<<

I so so admire that in you! I work on the same stuff as well, i.e. dealing with rejected feelings, not being afraid of those feelings, knowing what my own fears are, taking away the positive.

HUGS and congratulations!

I ADMIRE YOU!
Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 11:28pm

Oh honey, I agree with most of what you've said.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 12:25am

Thanks Mark.... it means a lot coming from you....


I have a lot of time to think when i'm driving for 2 hours to the beach...lol...


Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 12:48am

Thanks Alison.....


the old Loony WOULD have bent over backwards to please a guy... the old loony would have lost herself and would have made her identity the man's identity... the old loony would have been too afraid of rejection or being alone... to express her needs...


Yes, the new Loony has come a long way... THANKS!!


Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 12:55am

/signed and agreed.


It's pretty easy to blame the results of a situation on the other party, rather than self-reflect. To me, every relationship is a lesson and sometimes they are ugly to learn because you have to acknowledge your own ridiculous behavior. Good luck passing this particular message on.


As for the original point. If I have a lot going on and need to think, I just do. Anyone that went around asking my friends if that was true would be an automatic NO. Ask me. If I told you what was going on then that's whats going on. Considering the excitement mid-post about other prospects, I wouldn't call this relationship a heartbreak by any means.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 9:29am
AGREED - and we all see that and are proud of you!! This is going to be a good year for you!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 9:43am

I liked your post !

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 12:18pm

(((((Loony)))))


I was so sorry to read this post. I know that you were hopeful and felt new joy with the prospect of TG. I'm really sorry things went south. I also remember you were questioning "could this be real?" and perhaps your caution served you well, as you might not have 100 percent let your heart in and your guard down. In this case, I guess that instinct was right.


I think that TG ran because he really DID have those feelings for you. But he went in too fast and his won intensity and scared him and he started to feel himself lose control. I hear that happens with men sometimes, when they go in so fast they start to fear that "loss of control". He ghosted and bolted because he DID feel love for you..just the wrong way at the wrong time.


I'm proud of how you are handling everything. You have an inner strength and you are going to be fine! No one can take away Loony's spirit! Love to you- I'm thinking of you...


~Pacific~