I have no faith .....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
I have no faith .....
33
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 5:35am

I dont think this will be a pathetic post, but as i begin to type it ... it may be. lol So, WARNING.


1st off, today is the 4th anniversary of losing my mom. I just still cannot beleive it. I cant fathom it. How can she NOT BE HERE????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:16pm

Thanks! yes, the sleep did me wonders! lol


& yes! I hate the "in-between" stuff of dating. Eh, its never easy! Im sorry you havent heard from the V. (would he DIE to know thats his new name? lol)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:17pm

Wow QB, what a story about the earthquake! I totally beleieve in the ability of our loved ones to intervene in our lives.


& you have me a laugh with the weight gain & letting out the skirt so you can sit down! (((hugs)))

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:20pm

Yes Mark - she was my best friend. & as hard (THATS an understatement!) as it was to have her die in my arms, I thank God every day that I could be there for her & with her. It was the last gift we could give to one another.


& yes, losing someone so close to you makes realize that ANY MOMENT can be your last, or your loved one's last.

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:22pm
Yes Mark - No matter what size someone, man or woman is, they could be the "hottest" most sexy person out there, but if they dont exude self-respect & self-assurance, I am turned off. I have met many people not "technically hot", who were smart, succesful & felt GOOD about themselves - & truly, if you cant love, respect & feel good about YOURSELF, how can you feel that way for anyone else. My x is a perfect example of having NO self esteem, therefore, being viciously jealous of anyone ELSES success.

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:24pm

Thanks Dance. I totally agree with you that maybe this guy is just not a "player" & trying to lure & suck me in with the usual overkill at 1st. Plus, he is a single full time parent, so its not like he has all the time in the world. He HAS called when he has said he would, twice ... & has gone out of his way to contact me. So thats all good.


& i PROMISE you, as liberal & open as i am HERE, sure, my attitude or personality shows that in real life, but i would NEVER tell anyone about any of my other sexual relationships, past or present!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:27pm

Awww, thanks Rose. She was beautiful, especially b4 the illness deformed her face & hands. But she was still beautiufl inside & out, till the end. Even still now, in my memories.


Amazing about your dads date being the same (((((hugs))))) We send balloons to "gramma in Heaven" all the time . Avereys been doing it for so long, & i love it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:28pm

I do completely believe she can see & hear all that goes on with her loved ones.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:43pm
Huge hugs to you Rebecca!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 8:48pm

Sorry you were having a hard time with the loss of your mom... I lost my dh almost 3 yrs ago so even though it's not the same as losing a parent I can understand getting hit with emotion out of nowhere.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:59pm

You're not feeling HOT?