I have a question......(TMI Warning!!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
I have a question......(TMI Warning!!)
7
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 4:17pm
okay, so I have been dating Mike for 2 months now, and we have not "done it" yet. Mike has actually never "done it" with ANYONE.....we have tried a couple of times to do it, but he gets too nervous, and loses his hard-on....he says I'm only the second girl he has EVER wanted to do it with. Any ideas how I could get him to be not so nervous??? We've done everything but have sex, so I know it works....(lol)






iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 7:26pm

Janet, have you tried doing something else first, to erm, release his "tension"? (Think with your mouth and/or hands) Maybe if he wasn't so bottled up, so to speak, he wouldn't be as nervous.

I'm also thinking since you obviously love this man, and he loves you, you must talk about it. What's he nervous about? Is it something specific, or just general nerves because he's never done it?

One more thing, just to make sure- has he had a regular, recent physical? Sometimes men can lose their gumption if they are suffering from a number of hidden ailments, and that's the indicator before other symptoms. I'm sure in the case, that isn't the problem, but just making sure.

I think practice, practice, practice... and no one gets any blame here. He needs to know that you love him (I'm sure he does), and you need to know that this has nothing to do with how much he loves you (I'm also sure you do).



Powered by CGISpy.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 9:20pm

Well, like Tina said, practice, practice, practice!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 9:38pm

I recently read a book "Little Earthquakes" by Jennifer Weiner.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 9:56pm
I think the others suggestions are good - just take your time and tell him you have to get used to each other and that there is no rush. I think his nerves will wear off quickly!
signature
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 8:23am
We have talked about it. He's very nervous because he doesn't wanna mess up or be bad. I told him he's VERY good at everything else, and I'm sure he'll be just as great at this. And yes, I've tried to "release the tension" as you put it (lol) and like I've said, I KNOW it works, because we've done everything else, but sex.....






iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 8:26am
yes, he has finished other ways. he has no clue what to do, and I do control the situation because I don't want him to feel like he has to. But I also let him initiate, because it is his first time after all, I don't wanna just be ike "Okay, we're gonna do it now" kwim?? I actually have a closet full of xxx movies, I'm just not so sure that he'd wanna watch them with me, he's kinda shy...lol maybe I'll put one on this weekend and see how it goes....=)






iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 8:27am
hmmmm Jennie.....that might just work.....Thanks! A little teasing never hurt anyone....