I just don't get it
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| Sun, 11-27-2005 - 11:12pm |
I'm starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me. My husband left me for another over a year ago, and since then my dating history is limited. I date, but I don't get past the first date, or even the first few phone calls.
I just clicked with this guy that I met through a personals ad for my religion, and all was going well...we've talked for hours on end and made plans to meet over christmas. He told me that he thought I was interesting and would like to get to know me more, as I told him the same. I was very cautious not to appear too interested. Now, he tells me that he's not ready for this (whatever this is)
It wouldn't be a big deal if this was the first, second, or even third time, but it's not. I'm clueless on what I'm doing wrong

Hello and welcome,
I can relate to your frustration because I have been there. It seems that when you really want to meet someone the most, you can't find them.
I think the biggest trouble for you is that you are putting 100% of your focus on meeting someone instead of yourself and your life.
Perhaps the men you are meeting can sense that - you can't really hide it, even if you think you are playing hard to get. If you have time to spend hours and hours on the phone it is because your life is unfulfilled. You should be busy with stuff for YOU.
If you take all of your time and effort and put it on making your social network better - interests, activities, making new friends, working on your house, etc. you will become a better person and then you will meet the right person.
You mentioned your religion - why not get more involved with your church - but not to meet someone - just to have a good base of friends and activities to get you out of the house. One of those people might have a friend, or a friend of a friend and then you can develop something slowly.
While online dating can be a channel to meet someone, I don't think it is the best or the only one. I have seen far more heartache stories from this medium than I have seen success stories.
Good luck and keep us posted. I hope this helps you. And the others will have good advice, too.
Your dating experience is very normal. When I was looking for a partner, I rarely got a second date. I thought there was something wrong with me, but then realized that everyone else is experiencing the same thing.
I have to agree with Judy. Focus on your life and not on finding a mate. Get busy with activities that you enjoy. Oh, I hate to say it, but it is true that you find love when you aren't looking for it.
You're not doing anything wrong.
I am a very busy person. I work full time, of course a mom, plus I'm either at the gym, or trying some new place, show, restaurant out. I also am very involved in my church.
Now, what I have just realized is that whenever there is someone in my life all my prior life stuff goes to the back burner.
So next time I actually get asked on a date I will plan that around my schedule not vice versa.
Makes sense....thanks all
See, that's a great thing to realize!