I just have to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I just have to vent
3
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 1:33am

First of all, I wish I could read and respond to other posts, but I really, really have to get to bed - it's after 1 AM and I'm leaving for vacation in the morning. But I have to get this out:

x-bf and I are, supposedly, still friends. One of out mutual friends put on a local festival, and all of our friends volunteered to help out. I was there last night and again all day today. I was having a great time, even flirting with two guys who were vendors - who are also friends (or acquaintances) with our group. There was nothing really to it, because one is married and the other is a major perve, but they were funny and fun (and one brought me some crown royal - he is officially on my "Great Guy" list - the married one, of course). But it was so nice to feel sexy and attractive and fun. I can't remember ever feeling so empowered and sure of myself.

So, at the end of the night, when all the festival-goers left, the rest of us sat around drinking and talking. Xbf walked up as I was talking to the two guys (along with several other women, I might add). He promptly walked away, which I didn't think much of because he can be rather anti-social. Xbf stood apart from everyone else, never talking to anyone. I got ready to leave and, out of politeness, told him goodbye. It's all still a little blurry to me, but he basically let me know that he was ticked off at me. I pulled him to the side to talk. He was mad because I was flirting with the guys in front of him - said it was inappropriate. I tried to explain to him that we were no longer dating and it was none of his business who I flirted with. I was a little nicer than that, and I did tell him that I didn't mean to hurt him. Honestly, I didn't think about it - because we're not dating anymore! I told him that eventually I was going to be dating someone else anyway, so he would have to get over it. I also told him that I didn't make the choice to break up, he did when he made the choices to live and be the way he is, despite my trying to find a compromise.

It didn't end well, and obviously, I'm not feeling that great about it. I hate that I hurt him, but I had more fun these past two nights than I have in ages. I guess now I know that we can't really be friends.

The one great thing about it is seeing how wonderful my friends are, and how many wonderful new friendships I'm getting - or at least making them stronger. I asked for friends like that, and I've got them. Oh, and hey, I made nearly $50 in tips tonight!

Anyway, that's my story. I feel better just telling it. I'll be checking my e-mail and stuff when I can this next week, but I hope to have lots to do to keep me too busy for the internet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 8:07am

I am what I would call cautious friends with several of my ex's- the ones who weren't all that serious, the ones that didn't last that long, etc.

I think it is hard to be true friends with an ex- typically there were emotions involved during the relationship, and it's hard to have those emotions and still be friends, in every way, with someone.

I'm glad you had fun- fun's important, and hope you don't feel too badly about this. You did nothing wrong, and there's not a whole lot you can do about someone else's feelings. You weren't trying to make him jealous, and aren't responsible for the way he behaves or reacts.

Have a great weekend!

Moody, who should be getting busy


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 12:34pm

I can't remember ever feeling so empowered and sure of myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 1:38pm

Sounds like you had a great day and evening. I love that you feel so good about yourself.

As for your xbf - that is HIS problem, not yours. I agree with everything that Moody and Soonee write to you and chime in with them.

It is hard to be friends with an ex. What a shame that you have to share mutual friends. But hopefully it gets better in time.