I like a man who's crazy 'bout me...
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 01-03-2007 - 9:42pm |
I like a man who can live without me, too. That's what I like about you... I like a man who will lay down beside me, I like a man who will stand up to me, too. That's what I like about you. Don't want a man to be my twin, under my thumb, under my skin- don't want a man like a shadow on the ground with nothing else to do but follow me around.
So I've seen Double D at work today and yesterday. That's nothing new, except yesterday he sought me out specifically, and we chatted for a bit about Monday, our day off. When another coworker asked him, in my presence, how his NYE was, he smiled, and said "It was really wonderful. Absolutely citrus-y" That was sort of an inside joke, as we were drinking Corona, and there was lime involved, but when we ran out of lime, we switched to oranges. Totally innocent comment no one else would get, but it made me smile.
Then today, when I got on the bus, another coworker asked me how the club was. Since we didn't end up going to it, and I was thrown off guard by him knowing about it, I replied, "Oh, we didn't go." He asked what we did instead, and since we went back to Double D's place after dinner, I simply said that we got something to eat- which we did, but before that. It was innocent, but I don't need the whole company thinking that I went back to his place for something that may or may not have happened. Men are worse gossips than women, and I don't even care, except that the two of us haven't really discussed any of this, and not whether or not we'd tell other people.
So, when Double D got through with work for the day I was on lunch. We talked a little, and I said as casually as I could that the other coworker had mentioned his knowledge of our plans. Double D replied that he told him before we went that we were going, as the band is fairly popular, and the other coworker asked his plans for the night. He then said, "I'm not going to make this a secret, since then it's a big deal to everyone. Not that it isn't a big deal, but if we're casual about people knowing, they'll be casual about talking about it, too. That doesn't mean that I'll tell our life stories to the whole company, either."
It definitely makes sense, and I'm glad he doesn't feel the need to hide it- but we haven't decided (at least to my knowledge) what "it" is. We aren't exactly in a relationship, and have not discussed exclusivity, although he isn't really the type to date more than one person at a time. But what I was thinking is, "Geez, we haven't even discussed another date!" I'm happy he seems to want to get together again, since I definitely do, but it's a conversation we need to have, and not in a few minutes while one of us is working.
So, I said to him, "Do you want to get together sometime this week?" He said, "yeah, but I need to check my schedule. I'll call you." Of course I was on pins and needles after that, since I'm NOT at ALL the type of girl who can casually ask a guy out, ever. In fact, this is the only time I've ever done it, except the other week when I was mostly joking with him.
So tonight he called. I invited him here, and told him that tomorrow night or Friday worked for me. I told him that it was hard for me to get out on weeknights with the kids, and if he wanted to watch a movie or something here after they were in bed, that'd be cool. He said this week was crazy for him, and explained why.
He asked about my plans for the weekend, but I'm pretty booked except when he's working, so then we discussed our work schedules, and how they don't exactly mesh.
Then he asked if I'd like to have lunch on Monday. I agreed to that, with relief. I do want to see him, badly, but am not sure I want to start it off with him at my apartment. Lunch is public, casual, and will give us the opportunity to talk, without the temptation to do more than that.
So, I like that he seems to respect me enough to take me somewhere public, rather than taking advantage of the fact that we could be essentially alone here. I also like the fact that he's got enough going on in his life that he doesn't expect me to entertain him at every turn. Our schedules are actually sort of opposite- his day starts very early and mine ends fairly late, but it seems that we both want to see each other enough to see if it will work.
BUT- and this is just my own personal thing... I kind of wanted him to come here. I know I shouldn't- and chances are, something would have happened, which would have made me overthink everything even more than I already am... I know Monday isn't that far away, but I want to see him before then! I didn't let any of this show to him, of course, and right before we hung up, he said, "See you tomorrow, have a good night"...
I have decided that tomorrow I'll be extraordinarily busy. I'll purposely take my lunch at a time when I know he's not there, and if we do happen to run into each other, I'll be sure to be just friendly. Not any flirtier with him than I used to be... although I'm pretty flirty by nature, so I'll have to make sure I'm normal. Haha, I'm driving myself nuts! What I'm trying to say is that if he wants to talk to me, he'll have to definitely seek me out, as I won't be conveniently available.
But I also won't be cold, as I don't want to give him mixed feelings. I'll just be myself, the flirty me that acts the same way around him as everyone else. Except I might have to work on that, since most of the people I work with are huge flirts like me, and so I know it means nothing to either of us. With him, it does mean something, at least to me, and from all appearances to him, so it makes me nervous to flirt with him. And he doesn't flirt with anyone else the way I do... Does that even make sense?
One funny thing that happened, as we were walking and talking, he remembered that he left something in the bus he had driven, which was parked in the garage. We kept walking and talking to the bus, and another driver pulled his bus in while we were standing in Double D's bus. We waved, kept talking as we walked outside, and thought nothing of it. Then when I came back, the smoke alarm was going off, and we all had to wait outside for the fire department to come (nothing major, someone burned popcorn), and then I went into the breakroom after we got the all-clear. The driver who had seen us said to me, "I dont' know what the two of you were doing in the bus, but I don't think it's coincidence that the place was on fire!" I just laughed at that, since this guy is a real character, and very friendly... and it was obvious we were just talking, we weren't even touching (and haven't at work, at all). It was funny, though, and I'm glad Double D doesn't want this... whatever it is... to be a secret, as evidently even just talking makes people think we're "together".
I think we've both tried to be casual about this, and for me, it's easy. I talk to lots of my coworkers more than I talk to Double D. Most of them know quite a lot about me. But I guess, since they're mostly married and/or much older than I am, no one thinks anything of us talking. With Double D, we're both single and the age difference isn't that much, and maybe it's just that people at work are bored and like to liven up their days by gossiping... but the fact that they finally got a rumor right is a little scary!
So, anyhow, I don't feel like I've thrown myself at him, exactly, but I have made it incredibly easy for him to see me. Now I'll see how he behaves if it isn't quite as easy. Obviously, we're both still doing a good job at work, and even if it may seem like it, neither of us is doing anything at all that would be considered crossing any sort of lines at work. When we do speak, it's always when I'm on break and he's done, or during the normal course of the day, much the way I see other coworkers not in my department.
I have never thought of myself as a "does he like me?" kind of girl, but this is really making me rethink that. I don't know why it even matters, really, but somehow I feel like it does. This is why working together gets sticky- normally I'd ask my buddies at work their opinions about whatever guy I'm interested in, and since they wouldn't know him, they would give me honest answers. That the great thing about being friends with guys- you can pick their brains! But with him, if I mentioned a guy, even if I changed the name, they'd probably figure it out fairly quickly, as they're already making comments about the two of us, and he told at least one person we had a date.
Thanks for reading all of this, if you got this far! Writing it all out has really helped me realize I'm a nut. Just kidding, I'm sure I'm very normal, it's just that it's been so long since I was interested enough in a guy to think about him, I guess. It's throwing me off- not that that's necessarily bad, just disconcerting. But anyway, that's my past couple of days, and my newest novel in the continuing Double D saga.
Moody, trying too hard not to think, can you tell?

believe it our not - I did read your entire post ;)
We really are in roughly the same "place" right now. In particular: "we haven't decided (at least to my knowledge) what "it" is. We aren't exactly in a relationship, and have not discussed exclusivity, although he isn't really the type to date more than one person at a time. But what I was thinking is, "Geez, we haven't even discussed another date!" I'm happy he seems to want to get together again, since I definitely do, but it's a conversation we need to have, and not in a few minutes while one of us is working."
I could have written those words exactly. I do think HN and I will manage to talk at length tomorrow or Friday night. Although I am 100% confident that he wants to see me again. I'm not as confident yet that we are on the same page as far as what kind of relationship is is that we want right now. We also potentially have some gossip issues. Although HN and I don't work as closely together now as we used to - and he's no longer my supervisor - it would be much more clean and convenient if other people at work don't figure too much out until after HN gets his new job on the other side of campus - assuming he does get it.
I know exactly how you feel. The early days of dating. They could drive anyone crazy. The thoughts just race through your head.
Keep us posted!! And try not to worry too much. It will be what it will be. I think you are doing good to show your interest and keep it fun for him and not go overboard. I also like that you will go to lunch. And I like what you write about him - he sounds nice and his intentions are good.
I read the entire post, too. LOL.... I'm a nut. That was just too funny when you said that at the end. Have fun!!
Love,
Loonybunny