I must say...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
I must say...
2
Thu, 09-02-2004 - 4:23pm
I love coming to this board and sharing so much about my life, and reading all about the fabulous women that come here.

One thing that I must say is that from reading all these posts about ex's and the kids, I realize how lucky I am that I have not had these problems with Nicolas' dad.

Of course, there was a lot of things I went through during and after the split from him- to the point that I moved 16 hours away and had an unlisted number because he was acting crazy. But now 3 years later we have rebuilt our relationship to a good level for the sake of talking about our son.

I also feel very blessed that he believes that I do an excellent job with our son and has said Nicolas is better off with me. And when Nicolas went up there this summer, he hadn't seen him in almost 2 years, he said to me, "he's a pretty cool kid, you're doing a great job!" That was the BEST compliment ever!!!

I just really wish that some of the positive feelings I get from my ex could spread to those who are being negative. I feel really sad that these men can't see what wonderful jobs you guys do!

If no one else tells you guys that you are doing a good job, just look at the great kids you have and see that it's YOUR influence that has made up most of who they are today.

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) to all those with ex gripes.

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
In reply to: alison
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 12:36pm
Alison:

Thank you so much for the nice post. You are awesome yourself. It's always nice to be ackowledged. What every single mom does is hard, and we never get all the credit we deserve.

I have to say that I always prided myself on the fact that me and my exh got along so well. We were always able to commuicate and be flexible with schedules if we needed to be. Then he got re-married. Now, all the sudden, everything is different. I have always been nice to his new wife. The kids seem to like her. I don't exactly know what's going on, but ever since he met her, he gives me a hard time about everything, and he has threatened custody on more than one occasion. You are very fortunate that you get along with your exh. Like I said, I used to also, it's just that things are different now. I vent my frustrations about my exh and other things on this board because I know someone here will understand. All my sisters are married, so they really don't get it. I'm thankful for this board and all the friends I have met on here. Hats off to everyone. And I hope everyone has a GREAT holiday weekend.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: alison
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 1:08pm
Donna,

That's too bad that he's changed this way. Perhaps he feels that he MUST treat you this way as a show for his new wife? Some people are like that. I just hope with time he'll change his tune and you two can be reasonable again. He could also just be trying to involve his new wife more, by saying she could watch the kids after school since you don't pick them up until later. Maybe it's something you can work out, like one night a week she can pick them up from school?

I haven't talked to Nicolas' dad in almost 2 months. I'm hoping that he gives his son a call to wish him luck on his first day of school, but I'm not holding my breath on that one. Nicolas knows his dad loves him, so that's great. And I do get my child support every month, even if it's my ex's mom that makes sure it's paid. But the nice thing is that he has agreed that my choices for Nicolas are good ones- the school I'm putting him into, he's going to try out a karate class and the daycare he goes to.

My heart just hurts for those having so many problems with their ex's, these guys don't understand what the stress does to their own children.

Alison

Photobucket