I need to be honest and I hope its ok
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I need to be honest and I hope its ok
| Tue, 12-28-2004 - 5:28pm |
Best of luck all!!
MaryBeth
Edited 12/29/2004 10:31 am ET ET by mbfun
MaryBeth
Edited 12/29/2004 10:31 am ET ET by mbfun

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FirstAmendment, where is that post on the dating-bf-emotional issue?
CL-Entrepreneurial Women
Business Impressions, LLC
Hi Maggie...I do agree with some of your post.
CL-Entrepreneurial Women
Business Impressions, LLC
>>>Would you like to see someone respond with "I agree" "I can't add anymore advice then what you received already."? Will that help you feel like you are being supported, cared for, given attention?<<<
No, that was not what I was going for and it certainly makes me feel pathetic for bring it up. Thanks, I really needed that right now.
>>>Becky has been through alot in her life. We cried with her and her families loss. We hurt with her. She nows has joyous news to share with all of us.<<<
As I said initially, I believe someone with important news of any kind should be able to post it.
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I visit several boards here on iVillage and I have to say that there are times when I too post things that seem very important to me, but get little to no response. You can't take offense. It's not that anyone is ignoring you or placing pregnancy news above your issues. I just learned to say, "they must not have anything to offer me today on this" and move on to another issue or ask on another board. The relationships area of Ivillage is HUGE and there are so many places to go get advice, so if you feel we didn't pay close enough attention here, there is always another board to ask the same question and probably get more feedback. And vice versa. We are here to support each other and I for one never plan to leave unless I feel like I'm no longer welcomed or just have no time. I know I'll take a long break after I have Emily so I can put my attention on her, but I'll come back to post pics of her and give updates on her accomplishments not so others not in my position can feel badly, but because there are those here who have been in contact with me long enough to actually care to see/hear about my life with a new baby. But I also will be on Parent's Place to share my concerns and joys of motherhood.
I share lots of things here that are off topic and maybe I shouldn't, but I get great feedback because it's a been there done that type of issue most of the time. We vent about money issue, which single and married people have, kids getting into trouble at school, men, whatever. Yeah, I'm married and happily so, but I also dated, got my heart broken and felt empty and used by men just as some of you are right now. I can offer advice on that. Maybe it isn't the advice you want to hear, but it's advice, just the same.
iVillage has a great feature on its boards called "ignore" and I've utilized it on several occasions. I can go to boards now and get decent advice without allowing those who harass me or annoy me to put me down. You can always do that or just choose not to read the posts that pertain to subjects you are not interested in. It's the beauty of boards anywhere. Not just iVillage.
I personally am hurt by the original post and by the fact that it seems some of you (maybe not you personally) have been emailing each other discussing how married women are bombarding this board with marriage issues or pregnancy or other things. I always thought I was more than welcomed here and it bothers me that I might be stepping on anyone's toes. I just know that the best advice on any boards I've gotten has come from here and that's why I've continued to post right here.
I would say that if it bothers any of you discussing us thru email, that I'll just stop sharing my joys or venting about my sorrows, but I'm not going to stoop to that. This is my board too and I'm staying. I've made my choice and if it bothers anyone, ignore me. Simple as that.
Mel
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Im not going to say anymore than this -- I think the correct thing is to change the name of the board so that others dont come here to expect this certain topic to be discussed. I too enjoy mingling with everyone here but it irked me a little when the subject of being a single mom and dating was why I chose this board in the first place...I think a name change would help.
No one has offended me...no one has posted anything that I havent enjoyed reading I want to point that out. Its been off the board discussions with other women who have often said they felt uncomfortable.
Its not easy all the time being a married woman/mother-- nor a single mother but the issues are NOT the same-- perhaps mothers and relationships would be a better title.
I totally agree. I remember when I first got here and was a total dating disaster. THe army guy who wouldn't come back to visit for lame reasons (event hough we are still friends and I email him now in Afghan), the bad boy I drove 4 hours to see in the middle of the night withouth telling anyone just to have sex with him and break up, Zac (need I say more??), and now Shane, who I married. Plus all the crap with my ex...but I remained here even after being told how dumb my decisions were because I knew deep down, they really were. I think everyone here now knows that I'm driven mostly by my heart and rarely take advice when it comes to love. But I came HERE seeking it because my close friends who I could run to at anytime could not be objective. The board here can. So I stayed. And so glad I did.
I too remember reading about others getting engaged, married and begining new lives with those that loved them. I was so jealous. I wanted that too. I hadn't found it, or at least I hadn't accepted that it had found me yet. I never once thought, "these people need to move on to another board" because they had things I could use as a creative way to do things. Advice I never thought of. I loved hearing from all of the members. It didn't matter to me that Bec was married or that Tara was living with someone or that Maggie was a blissful bride to be. I wanted that life too and I knew if I waited for the right man, I'd have it too.
I know you don't have time to be a regular here anymore and we miss ya. Glad you decided to stick around anyway. Hope this thread doesn't make you want to go. Sure encouraged me to stay.
Mel
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I will find another place where "I" will feel more comfortable -- problem solved. Move onto next subject! Sorry that I posted. I felt with how others were feeling and myself it was something needed however I knew it was a risk...
Good luck to all of you!!
I don't know anyone on this board and I haven't emailed or received an email from anyone about this. I don't agree with the OP fully, I don't think anyone should leave (it would take a lot away from the board), but I do understand where she is coming from and I do agree marriage related issues is not the focus of the board. I apolgize for monopolizing this thread. I'm just having a really hard time coping right now and I feel a little like I'm falling off the deep end. I don't need to go to another board for advice or support. The reason I've posted here is that the purpose of the board matches exactly with the problem/issues I am facing. And honestly, I only posted here after I lurked and decided that the advice the women on this board give is smart, supportive, and well thought out. I only posted the other day about my bf problems because you guys already know my situation.
>>>We are here to support each other and I for one never plan to leave unless I feel like I'm no longer welcomed or just have no time<<<
I don't feel welcome and I shouldn't be investing the time any longer.
>>>Yeah, I'm married and happily so, but I also dated, got my heart broken and felt empty and used by men just as some of you are right now.<<<
Yes, I am sure you can give support regarding this. But for some reason not to me at this time. I was not looking for advice or solution to my problem. I thought a little of "I've been there too" and "It will be okay" might have helped me out. But I guess my expectations are too high. And maybe I am just being pathetic, but I really don't know what to right now. I think I know one minute and the next I don't. I guess I will figure it out for myself.
Kim
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